DC Trawler

Joss Whedon Wants To Get You Excited For Hillary, Everybody

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Joss Whedon was the co-creator of Firefly, a show so libertarian that the ship was shaped like Drew Carey. So of course it was cancelled after 11 episodes, because everybody hates libertarians. And like all third-wave feminists in good standing, last year I was furious at Whedon for making the Black Widow sad that she can never have a child. Joss Whedon is problematic, is what I’m saying.

Now Whedon wants to atone. Now he wants to win back the Tumblr generation.

Natalie Jarvey, Hollywood Reporter:

Joss Whedon usually leaves the heroics for characters in his movies, but the Avengers director’s next project is battling what he believes could be a big threat in the real world.

Whedon has founded the pro-Hillary Clinton super PAC Save the Day and donated $1 million toward helping her beat Donald Trump in the presidential election. Instead of going on the defensive, Whedon is focusing on encouraging people to vote through a series of star-studded online videos. He’s hoping that these videos will resonate with several groups of people that are likely to vote for Clinton, including rural college-educated white women and groups that often have low voter turnout such as black men and millennials.

Sounds terrific. Let’s watch their first ad:

Well, at least it’s not another Marvel movie. The drop in quality was pretty steep between Whedon’s first one and Avengers: Age of Robots That Tell Jokes. Here he’s only insulting me for a few minutes, and, more importantly, for free.

Let me take a moment here to state that I never, ever, ever want to see Mark Ruffalo’s penis.

Well, maybe just the once.

I agree with some of what these utterly-isolated-from-American-society Hollywood liberals say, which is why I’ll be voting against the Democrats on Nov. 8. I’m writing in John McAfee for president — hey, if you want me to vote for a lunatic businessman, I’m goin’ all out — and then voting Republican all the way down the rest of the ballot. They don’t deserve even that, especially after the last few months, but I’m feeling generous.

Because this election is too important…

[The guy from Kiss Kiss Bang Bang] Too important…
[Some SNL bro] Too important…
[An even angrier-than-usual Don Cheadle] Too important…
[Scarlett Johansson in a super-tight t-shirt] Too important…
[The Pine-Sol lady, I think?] Too freakin’ important

…to vote for either of the two scummy creeps who’ve been foisted on us. Just say no.

P.S. None of these actors, who are of course better than us, ever mention either candidate by name. But notice how they not-so-obliquely bash Trump, without ever giving you a reason to vote for Hillary. Each side wants you to vote against the other side. And that’s all they’ve got. They can’t give you any other reason, because there is no other reason. If that’s enough for you, do what you think you need to do.

Also, it looks like Whedon’s abandoned Twitter account (he was chased away last year by the aforementioned feminists) has been taken over by what appears to be a Putin troll. Pretty funny.

P.P.S. Joss just started a new accout, so we can watch him quit Twitter all over again when he inevitably angers the Tumblr Brigade.