Kelly Clarkson said with all the pressure put on her in the beginning of her career to stay “really skinny,” she wanted to kill herself because she was so miserable.
“When I was really skinny, I wanted to kill myself. I was miserable, like inside and out, for four years of my life,” the 35-year-old singer shared Monday with Attitude’s magazine. (RELATED: Kelly Clarkson Announces She’s Pregnant Mid-Concert [VIDEO])
performs during the 2013 CMA Music Festival on June 8, 2013 at LP Field in Nashville, Tennessee. (photo: Getty Images)
“But no one cared, because aesthetically you make sense,” she added. “It was a very dark time for me. I thought the only way out was quitting. I like wrecked my knees and my feet because all I would do is put in headphones and run. I was at the gym all the time.”
It was finally at the release of her hit song “My December,” after she left RCA records, that she decided enough was enough and took control of her image, her music, and body.
“There’s a song on My December called Sober,” the “Love So Soft” singer explained. “There’s this line ‘picked the weeds but kept the flowers’ and I just live my life by that because you are who you surround yourself with.”
“I was around some really negative people, and I got out of it because I had a lot of great people there too,” she added. “It was a case of turning around, facing them and walking toward the light.”
On Tuesday, the singer issued a clarification on Twitter that because she was so miserable back then the result was that she became skinny.
“Just to clear something up. I wasn’t ever miserable because I had to be thin. I said I was miserable & as a result I became thin,” Clarkson tweeted.
Just to clear something up. I wasn’t ever miserable because I had to be thin. I said I was miserable & as a result I became thin. https://t.co/N1uhyOWqMb
— Kelly Clarkson (@kelly_clarkson) October 24, 2017
Update: This story has been updated to reflect Clarkson’s clarification.