A Week In The Life Of A ‘Very Stable Genius’
People can often “misunderestimate” just how hard it is to be a “very stable genius” all the time. So it is with Trump, battling hyperventilating and relentless media unencumbered by the truth that are out to destroy him.
For the few of us who write political humor op-eds, he provides more satire material in one day than No-Drama-Obama did in a year. Here’s just this week’s material:
You know the material is flowing fast and furiously when porn star “Stormy Daniels,” it is reported, took $130,000 in hush money from a president and it does not make the front page of most papers. If you wonder why someone at that level would want to be associated with such a seedy and miserable business, no one has asked Stormy why she got involved.
Then there was a fire at the Clinton home in Chappaqua, New York around the time there seemed to be an actual Department of Justice investigation into the Clinton Crime Family Foundation. The fire was probably started by all the paper shredders running at the same time. But not to worry, Democrats: I have it on good authority that the fire was confined to Hillary’s bedroom, so Bill was never in peril.
Then Trump had a very nice, televised meeting with Democrats and Republicans trying to come to some mutual agreement on immigration and DACA. It was a glimpse of the president’s willingness to work with Democrats on important issues. Trump was cool, measured, reasonable and in command, which drove the media nuts. PMS-NBC and CNN were so upset they are making a case — quoting unnamed sources — that Trump colluded with Dale Carnegie.
The president said of the “Dreamers,” illegals here under DACA so they can study at our colleges, that he wanted legislation addressing their status. He called it “A Bill of Love,” which also happened to be President Clinton’s secret service code name. Trump later summed up what many wonder about our immigration policy, “Why do we take so many from s—hole countries?” Then Dicky Durbin double-crossed him and went to the press about a confidential meeting. No wonder nothing gets done in D.C.
Trump gets into a dust-up with Lil-Kim Jong-un over whose nuclear button is bigger. To be fair, who among us men has not speculated on whether our button is bigger than a rival’s? Trump punctuates the fight by saying that at least his nuke button works. Hawaii is then panicked when its government mistakenly sends out a distress message that they are being nuked. The Hawaii state employee responsible was given the most severe punishment a state employee can get: reassignment to a similar position at full pay.
So, with all the incompetence of government (especially North Korea’s), Kim Jong-un could push a button thinking he is ordering office supplies and we end up in an all-out nuclear war — all this about the same time that South Korea hosts the Winter Olympics, perhaps to be renamed the Nuclear Winter Olympics.
The awards season has started with the Golden Globes. Legend has it that if the stars come out and do not see their reflections in a mirror on this day, we are in for another 10 months of award shows. Going forward in Hollywood, the format and criteria this year will change. Actresses will be judged more on the quality of their performances, not just on their willingness to watch Harvey Weinstein shower.
Stars wore “Time’s Up” buttons. They love fashionable worries. On the red carpet, James Franco hugged a co-star from his recent movie when he saw her. The trial starts Monday.
Oprah intimates she might run for president and celebs rail against Trump. I am surprised that Americans do not take more of their moral, political and reasoning from today’s celebrities. Early in their careers, many of them got GEDs while they were auditioning for roles in Hollywood. As we all know, good-looking people are just smarter than we are.
Then, we have the Dems’ perpetual plan to heal the racial divide on Martin Luther King Day the same way they always have: by calling anyone who disagrees with them “racist.” MLK would be a RINO by today’s standards. Black Caucus members are also boycotting Trump’s State of the Union Speech.
Trump says he does not want them or celebs to attend anyway and is “choosing” not to invite, much the same way I “chose” not to attend my high school prom with our homecoming queen.
A libertarian op-ed humorist and award-winning author, Ron is a frequent guest on CNN. He can be contacted at Ron@RonaldHart.com or @RonaldHart on Twitter.
The views and opinions expressed in this commentary are those of the author and do not reflect the official position of The Daily Caller.