Rosie O’Donnell turns 56 years old today. And although a majority of America may rather gauge their eyes out with a blunt Ticonderoga pencil than honor this national treasure, I believe it’s important.
The notorious comedian, turned TV personality, turned fodder of the nation deserves a little recognition. And I’m a fair journalist, so I’ve taken it upon myself to honor Rosie. I just can’t promise it’ll be flattering.
Here are her worst moments, to date of course. If and when Rosie decides to act up again, I’ll update the list accordingly. Consider it a running tab.
1- That icky feud she had with Elizabeth Hasselback about the Iraq War, which resulted in an early termination of her contract on “The View.” Rosie basically mansplained the theory of the universe to poor Elizabeth with nothing more than personal insults and a vague suggestion that US soldiers are the real terrorists. Joy Behar actually had to step in and be the voice of reason. Let that sink in.
2- The time she pushed a conspiracy theory that the US actually perpetrated 9/11. In part, she said “I do believe that it’s the first time in history that fire has ever melted steel,” suggesting the US may have used “explosives” to destroy the Twin Towers.
3- The time she got into a full-on war with Kelly Ripa after Rosie accused the host of homophobia for not wanting Clay Aiken’s arm on her.
4- When she reportedly told a cancer patient working for her magazine, “You know what happens to people who lie. They get sick and they get cancer. If they keep lying, they get it again.” Yikes.
5- Her hilarious but ultimately cloying feud with Donald Trump. In 2006, she accused him of having multiple affairs and claimed he was a poor role model for young women participating in his “Miss USA” pageants. He later threatened to sue her and publicly derided her on every major media outlet for months after. And produced this gem of a clip during the 2016 Primaries:
6- That time she told Ben Shapiro to “suck her d*ick” after the two got into a Twitter spat over none other than the GOP tax bill.
7- When she proclaimed her love for Tom Cruise, then bizarrely walked it back by saying, “I never once said I want him naked in a bed doing the nasty.”
8- This actually may be the best thing Rosie has done. In 2007 she was voted the “Most Annoying Celebrity Of All Time.” Mind you, Clay Aiken, Paris Hilton, and Simon Cowell were all around during that time. What an accolade.
As I mentioned before, this is a running list. Rosie’s done literally scores of disgraceful things but these are her most inflammatory to date. It’s pretty hard to maintain hegemony on the “most annoying celebrity” title but Rosie does it flawlessly. Pushing 9/11 conspiracy theories, sexually harassing conservatives on Twitter, and threatening cancer patients will do it. Happy 56th, Rosie.
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