The Mirror

San Fran Health Org Gets Rid Of ‘Vagina’ In Favor Of ‘More Inclusive Front Hole’


Betsy Rothstein Gossip blogger
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You may think this story is better suited for Clickhole.

If only.

Instead, Healthline, a California health info provider, is trying to ruin the term “vagina.” It’s not gender inclusive enough. The word they prefer? “Front hole.”

And yeah, gross.

Other hot stories on the site: Why women should bring back body hair. “It’s time we change how we feel about body hair,” the piece says. (Do not look at this while you’re eating lunch.) There’s also an “Editor’s Picks” piece about taking genitals out of the mix to revive a waning sex life. They suggest a “sex position bucket list.” For example, “hello kitchen island.”

But let’s get back to that pesky v-word.

According to Healthline‘s sex-ed guide, higher rates of HIV and STD’s are a direct result of discrimination,” reports Caldron Pool, a righty Christian site. “It’s imperative for safe sex guides to become more inclusive of LGBTQIA and nonbinary people.”

The clincher: “For the purpose of this guide, we’ll refer to the vagina as ‘front hole’ instead of solely using the term ‘vagina.'”

Oh God.

Also at risk are the terms “penis” and “vulva.” They prefer the word “parts” across the board.

Here’s why: “The notion that a penis is exclusively a male body part and a vulva is exclusively a female body part is inaccurate. By using the word ‘parts’ to talk about genitals and using medical terms for anatomy without attaching a gender to it, we become much more able to effectively discuss safe sex in a way that’s clear and inclusive.”

So if I go to the ER and I say my “parts” are hurting, no doubt the doctors will know what I mean.

The Mirror tried to contact Charles Hodgkins, the site’s senior copyrighter and newsletter content manager, but to no avail. Calling is a tedious experience. A woman’s voice gives you six options — none of which lead you to a human being with “parts” or a “front-hole.”

Check out the health guide here.