The Mirror

Democrats Want To Have A Bunch Of Sex With Michael Avenatti

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Betsy Rothstein Gossip blogger
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Might Michael Avenatti be too sexy for cable news?

Apparently there are some liberal women out there who think porn star Stormy Daniel’s attorney is a hottie. So suggests a story in VICE by Politics Editor Alex Thompson, which has some women blind quoted about how fuckable he is.

A new nickname being floated at a summer meeting of Dems in Chicago: “Hottie Avenatti.”

But Avenatti doesn’t want to be just another, er, pretty face.

“I think I’m a man of substance, frankly,” Avenatti told a bunch of reporters congregating in the lobby of Chicago’s Hyatt Regency.

The evening “party circuit” proved to be a good time for the press hungry lawyer.

DNC deputy finance chair Diane Roberston called Avenatti a “breath of fresh air.”

But some women who spoke to the VICE writer sounded a little breathless for something else out of Avenatti. Thompson reported that Democrats raised the issue of the lawyer’s “physique.”

On condition of anonymity, one woman called him “handsome.” Another said she has “a thing” for bald guys. A third said, “I wouldn’t not fuck him.”

Here in Washington, women generally seem to be mixed about Avenatti’s hotness.

“On a 0 to 10 scale, I’d give him a 6. His score is significantly reduced by the high risk of him never shutting his pie hole,” said a female Mirror pal. “Otherwise he could be s high as 9. Bald is easy to clean.”

I asked a female journalist if she’d fuck Avenatti if given the opportunity, she had a one-word reply: “No.” Later on, she added, “I cannot think of any scenario in which I would be inclined to fuck Michael Avenatti.”

“Gun to your head?” I replied.

“Still no,” she said.

I also asked a male journalist if he’d fuck Avenatti. He, too, passed: “He’s physically attractive, but he’s slimy, so no.”

But a media industry source disagreed: “Yes, but I wouldn’t cuddle afterward.”

A Democratic female voter in Rochester sounded eager to let him into her bed. “His eyes are so blue,” she gushed to The Mirror. “He looks like a Roman statue, AND he’s driven to make things right in Trumpland. He’s a total gentleman with a porn star. Swoon. Fuckability quotient 200 percent.”

Avenatti appears to gotten past his self-consciousness about his baldness.

During a dinner for a TV pitch that ultimately failed, former White House Communications Director Anthony Scaramucci (yes, ugh, him again) roped Avenatti into appearing at a dinner with him. Stormy’s sexpot lawyer admitted that he once tried everything to hide his baldness and even considered a “comb forward” look (whatever that is).

To be sure, Scaramucci won’t be upstaged by Avenatti. At that same dinner, Scaramucci admitted to wetting the bed until age 11. Are congratulations in order? Sure, he wins for the grossest childhood memory.

Back in May, when rumors swirled that the pair were considering combining their talents for a show, Scaraucci appeared on Fox & Friends and mocked Avenatti’s baldness, saying, “I like people that have a full head of hair.”

Well, The Mirror prefers people who don’t wet the bed.

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