The Gray Lady has turned blue.
And I don’t mean that she’s lacking in oxygen and needs to be revived. We’re talking blue as in X-Rated, as in a New York Times-owned company is marketing sex toys and profiting off of them.
I’m sure NYT Executive Editor Dean Baquet is not fussing over any of this. He’s busy managing the paper and dealing with the ordinary pressures of the day. But underneath all that pomp and circumstance is Wirecutter, a New York Times company that is pushing the best anal toys, the best condoms, the best G-spot toys, the best personal breathalyzer — well, you get the idea. (RELATED: NYT Gives Up Charade, Now Running Pure Fiction As Op-Eds)
The whole model for Wirecutter is that the New York Times company earns an affiliate commission for each sale.
The retail wooing is quite compelling:
Being an adult can be messy, stressful business, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have simple pleasures. Our reviews of gear for people 21 and older cover sex toys, marijuana tools, and more. These reviews are the result of hundreds of hours spent researching and testing items, interviewing professionals, and crowdsourcing opinions from enthusiasts. Have fun and be safe, the Wirecutter way.
Besides all the other “best of” items you can find, there’s also the best weed grinder, the best vibrators, and the best portable vaporizer. So are these testers really grinding up weed?
Bianca Jarvis writes that after 75 hours (whoo-ey!) of research and testing, they have determined that the Magic Wand Rechargeable is the best vibrator around for most people. The best G-spot toys, meanwhile, didn’t get as much research — only 40 hours — but the best of the best is apparently the stainless steel Njoy Pure Wand.
To make matters worse (or better, depending), they’ve also done some serious butt plug testing. They did their best to ensure that nothing smells too funky.
“After more than 50 hours of research, including reading hundreds of reviews of 49 bestselling models, interviewing six sexperts (including sex researcher Dr. Debra Herbenick) and crowdsourcing opinions from sex-toy enthusiasts, our mixed-gender panel of six testers chose Njoy’s Pure Plug as their top choice. This stainless steel butt plug is beautiful, has no friction when used with lubricant, offers feelings of fullness with prostate stimulation, and stays firmly in place after insertion. It’s available in three different sizes, is absurdly easy to clean, and doesn’t retain unpleasant smells.”
Yes, you read that correctly — they had SIX testers of mixed genders trying out butt plugs for an alleged 50 hours.
Wirecutter was founded in 2011 and has been acquired by the New York Times company since 2016. The company claims it makes shopping easy with the help of veteran journalists, scientists, and researchers. (RELATED: Koppel Says NYT, WaPo Aren’t What They Used To Be With Trump Vendettta)
Consider us a best-of list for everyday things; a curated gallery filled with only interesting, useful objects; a thank-you note to the designers and engineers who create the stuff that makes our lives better; a geeky friend with next-level research skills who tests everything they buy so you don’t have to. The point is to make buying great gear quickly easier so you can get on with living your life.
Right, the quicker you can find that perfect butt plug, the better your life will be.
Don’t worry. Wirecutter has ethics.
Our recommendations are always made entirely by our editorial team without input from our revenue team, and our writers and editors are never made aware of any business relationships.
In other words, never fear that Ken Vogel or Glenn Thrush or Maggie Haberman are influencing any of the anal toys being sold under their noses.
If sex isn’t your jam, there’s lots of other categories to choose from. For example, pets. If you want to know which poop bag will make your heart sing, wonder no more. Wirecutter says it’s the AmazonBasics Dog Waste Bag. And this is allegedly after 30 hours of picking up dog shit.
If none of that floats your boat, there are also toilet seats, mattress protectors for new moms and the best in nursing bras and slippers for any budget. Probably the worst section in the whole smorgasbord of items in the New Moms section is called “Things to skip.” This would be tampons and menstrual cups — Wirecutter advises that it’s not a good idea to insert anything in your hoohah for at least six weeks after delivery.
Wherever she is, the Gray Lady is not happy.