Editorial

Tom Brady Is Undefeated Since Getting Divorced

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Tom Brady #12 of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers looks on during pregame warm-ups prior to a game against the Baltimore Ravens at Raymond James Stadium on October 27, 2022 in Tampa, Florida. (Photo by Mike Ehrmann/Getty Images)

(Photo by Mike Ehrmann/Getty Images)

Andrew Powell Sports and Entertainment Blogger
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Are women the downfall of men?

It’s certainly a question that deserves to be asked after the Tom Brady-Gisele Bündchen divorce. Hell, it’s a question that deserves to be asked all-around. Since the beginning of time, it seems that women have always been the downfall of the opposite sex. And it’s simple why: they’re our weakness. What man doesn’t like a good woman?

Now, a lot of men get lucky, having a fantastic marriage with their wife for decades, but for others, especially here in modern-day culture (do we all remember the Lamar Odom fiasco when he was married to Khloe Kardashian?), it appears to be dead weight. Just ask Tom Brady.

Granted, his case is very different, being the greatest of all time, blingin’ out with seven Super Bowl rings on his fingers — ultimately life is great for this 45-year-old hunk, but have you seen the chaos that Gisele has caused him this season?

To make it worse, this whole divorce drama began before the season even started, with August being the official kick-off to this entire episode after Brady took time off to deal with “some personal things.” Check out Cosmopolitan‘s epic timeline on the entire divorce. It breaks everything down that we just don’t have the time for here. Also, check out the rant yours truly went on about Gisele in a prior piece — the woman is an overrated menace.

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers did manage to start their season off 2-0 — winning an impressive victory over the Dallas Cowboys and beating a not-so-good New Orleans Saints team — but since then, they’ve been limping, and some of it’s been really bad football.

You had the 14-12 loss to an ass Green Bay Packers team (not interested in hearing about a washed-up, average at best Aaron Rodgers) and the 41-31 loss to the Kansas City Chiefs (which is understandable), which brought them to 2-2. They beat a bad Atlanta Falcons team (whoop-de-doo) to bring them to 3-2, and then followed that up with back-to-back atrocious losses to horrible Pittsburgh Steelers and Carolina Panthers teams — 3-4 now. Then they dropped to 3-5 with another understandable loss to a tough Baltimore Ravens team.

At this point in the season is when Tom Brady and Gisele Bündchen officially got divorced.

And how it would go for Brady and the Buccaneers: Oh, nothing much. Just beating the defending NFL Super Bowl Champion Los Angeles Rams and going on an undefeated streak!

That’s right! Since getting divorced, Brady and the Bucs have been on a roll, not getting a single loss!

Yeah, it may just be a one-game streak, but technically, it’s true: Tom Brady is undefeated since getting divorced. (And men everywhere are suddenly smiling.) This is the narrative, and we’re sticking with it!

Up next on the schedule for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers is the Seattle Seahawks in the very first NFL game in Munich, Germany. If they win this game, you better believe we’re going to be doing this again, because honestly, who doesn’t love the headline: “Tom Brady Is Undefeated Since Getting Divorced.” (RELATED: Tom Brady Becomes The First NFL Player To Eclipse 100,000 Passing Yards)

Dude, you chuckle at that shit at first sight. It’s absolutely hilarious!

Yours truly just wrote a 600+ word piece because of how glorious that headline is.

Here’s the problem for our ongoing comedy, however: The Buccaneers are only a -2.5 point favorite over the Seahawks, according to DraftKings. But hey, at least they’re a favorite, right?

Seattle has been solid this year at 6-3, but you always have to like Tampa Bay’s chances as long as they have Tom Brady as their quarterback. Yours truly is rooting for a Buccaneers win. You should too, because we have got to keep “Tom Brady Is Undefeated Since Getting Divorced” going, and for as long as possible.

What a legendary headline.