Opinion

ROOKE: Where Are The Boomers When We Need Them Most?

OPINION
Harper's First Day - A Kindergartner Starts Elementary School During COVID-19 Pandemic

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Mary Rooke Commentary and Analysis Writer
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There is a grandparenting crisis plaguing our country. Boomers are aging out of the parenting years, passing the torch of raising the next generation to their children, who seem wholly unprepared.

It’s not easy being a parent. Children are emotionally and physically taxing in ways people can’t possibly comprehend unless they’ve experienced similar battles over food, clothes and bedtimes. That is why teaching your children the important knowledge and skills required to raise their own capable children is so important.

But it seems the Boomer generation is choosing to check out and leave new parents to figure this out independently.

A post asking stay-at-home moms (SAHM) about how much assistance they typically get weekly turned into a discussion on the lack of grandparent involvement in their family’s lives. “Fellow SAHM, how much outside help do you get (if any) each week? Babysitter, housekeeper, family help nearby, daycare? Curious what it’s like for other families,” @TexasMomof Many posted on Twitter.

The replies were depressing, with most of the mothers lament having no help.

“None & all of my family live in the same town. No more than like 4 minutes away,” one Twitter user wrote. “But they expect help from me all the time.”

“I have zero help. My in-laws decided to retire on a remote island in the middle of nowhere and my parents still work and live in another state,” another Twitter user replied.

There are posts after posts of women saying they have no help from their family during the most challenging time of their parenting career and when they need it most.

It’s easy to sneer at them for having children only to complain about the work it takes to raise them until you realize that’s an entirely backward way of looking at this problem. (ROOKE: America’s Kids Are Struggling. It’s Time To Start Talking About Their Parents)

Yes, parents are solely responsible for the state and status of raising their children, but that also means parenting doesn’t stop when children reach adolescence. You are a parent until you die.

The idea that you would stop instructing your children because they somehow age out of needing you is disordering thinking. This doesn’t mean young parents get an excuse to be absentee and shirk their duty to raise their children. Still, when did we allow the idea that grandparents have zero responsibility in forming their grandchildren?

We are leaving new parents without the necessary support to deal with a world that is increasingly hostile toward families. Several mothers complained that their husbands were forced to take work off so they could go to an appointment that didn’t allow children.

It points to our rotten culture and the death spiral we are currently in that fathers have to take time off work because no one is willing to help accommodate the family. These are burdens that don’t need to be passed down. Young parents fortunate enough to have supportive extended families understand the blessing it is to have their help.

The line “It takes a village” wasn’t referring to friends or babysitters. It is a reminder that this is the first time to live life for everyone involved. At some point in our society, we decided it was no longer necessary for our elders to pass down their life experiences to make it easier and better for future members of their families.