And thank goodness!

Who else but a crazy person would:

• Take a 6 a.m. flight to Indianapolis on a day’s notice to meet a blogger whose real name he didn’t even know, talk to the guy at the airport Starbucks for 15 minutes, and say, “Hey, why don’t we fly back to The Daily Caller offices in D.C. and meet everybody? Yeah, right now. Why not?”
• Pass the time during the 8-hour fog delay by pulling up YouTube clips of fishing-show bloopers? (“Wait. Wait. He’s gonna fall out of the boat!”)
• Chew enough nicotine gum to fuel a dozen AA meetings?
• Put up the hitherto-pseudonymous blogger in a luxury hotel for the night, and then bring him into the next morning’s Daily Caller staff meeting wearing the same clothes he’d worn the day before? Because the nervous and bewildered blogger had left his house the previous morning without so much as a toothbrush or a change of socks?
• Hire … me?

That’s pretty much what happened, in that order. Except for the nicotine gum deal, which is ongoing. I wouldn’t say Tucker chews the stuff nonstop, because sometimes it’s tough to get it around that huge dip of Skoal. I’m actually earning overtime pay by feeding him Nicorette while he sleeps. He’s getting me a bigger funnel.

But I’m getting ahead of myself here. My “name” is Jim Treacher, and I’m the guy Tucker has hired to populate this blog with words. Lots of words. Lots and lots of words. Lots and lots and … you get the idea. And here’s the shocking part, you guys: 

Jim Treacher is not my real name. My real name is Sean Medlock. OMG!

Here is a picture of me as a child. Before all the problems.

Why do I have two names? (Four names, if you want to get nitpicky.) Why am I using the fake name to blog under, even though I’m telling everybody my real name?

Who cares? It used to be a secret, now it’s not. Jim Treacher isn’t my real name and everybody knows it because I’m telling you right now, yet I’m using it here for “branding” purposes. Kind of weird, I guess, but I’m not sure it’s really a big deal.

The important thing, the thing you need to know, is exactly what this blog is going to be and why you should read it. I have a definite answer for you:

No lo sé.

I’m not really sure. I could lie to you and say this has all been planned out well in advance and every single detail has been ironed out. But it hasn’t. I got an e-mail from Tucker on December 13 saying, “Hey, I’ve got something to talk to you about. Want to meet?” Within 48 hours I was in his office in D.C. making a handshake deal to do this. (See bulleted list above.) One month later, I’ve moved from Indianapolis to D.C. and I’m typing out a post about why I’ve moved from Indianapolis to D.C. This has all happened so quickly that I’m still not really dealing with it emotionally, and I don’t think I’ll be doing so anytime soon.

Now, you could say that hiring me so soon before the site launched was an obvious act of desperation. Or you could say that maybe Tucker read Blink by Malcolm Gladwell and he went with his gut instinct. Or … I guess it could be both? Somehow? I don’t know.

What I do know is that this is the single smartest group of people I’ve ever worked with. They’re also very friendly and welcoming. And warmhearted. And talented. And physically fit. And attractive. Every single one of them. (What else am I supposed to say? They’re all reading this.)

In all seriousness: Everyone here at the Daily Caller is placing their complete faith in me. I think that might be the scariest part. There’s nothing quite as terrifying as an absolute and implicit trust that you’re not quite sure you’ve actually earned.

Yikes! That’s pretty heavy. Let’s discuss something else. What were we talking about … Oh yeah. What the heck am I doing here? Well, Tucker and his business partner Neil Patel were both fans of my old blog at jimtreacher.com, and they want me to do the same sort of stuff for the Daily Caller. That’s been pretty much my only instruction: “Do what you do. On the blog, we mean. All that other stuff you’ve been doing, you should probably stop. There are laws, and we’re not paying you enough to be able to circumvent them.”

The rest of it we’re figuring out as we go. Every time I think of an idea that I assume I should run by Tucker and Neil because it’s too weird or embarrassing or whatever, they tell me they trust my judgment.

Did I mention they’re insane?

Other people will be posting here too, by the way. That’s why the logo (by the great Batton Lash) says “with” instead of “by.” But those other people will most likely have real jobs, so they won’t be posting here as often as I will. Probably. Maybe. I don’t know. But the great thing about a blog is that it doesn’t have to be any one thing. And if there’s something you don’t feel like reading, check out that snazzy scrollbar over there.

So if you liked my old blog, you might like this blog. If you didn’t like my old blog and yet you’re reading this, I just have one question: Does Soros pay by the hour, the post, or the word? I’ve always wondered.

Well, this post is long enough already. They won’t all be this rambling and self-centered, I promise. Maybe. The point is: I’m here, this is happening, and you’re just going to have to deal with it. If you like the main site but hate the blog, you don’t have to click on it. If you like the blog but hate the rest of the site, I’d ask you to reconsider, because everybody here is working their tushies off to make it great.

And yes, I have to wear a bow tie to work. But I get to tie it to whatever I want.

Anything else, Mom? I really need to get back to work.