Today he was hospitalized with chest pains and he’s now resting comfortably. On the slight chance that he or his family and friends are reading this, the only thing I have to offer by way of well wishes are some “Chenyku” I came up with last May, right after he and Obama had those dueling speeches on the war on terror. Here are a few:
***
Yeah, I shot that guy
And I had some heart attacks
And I kept you safe
***
I’m bald and morose
I don’t look good in swim trunks
Eight years, no attacks
***
Dear Los Angeles:
We stopped an assault on you
“Hey, thanks” will suffice
***
Look out, terrorists!
Obama’s secret weapon:
Approval ratings
***
Every time I sneer
Khalid Sheikh Mohammed faints
Try that one, Barack
***
When you attacked me
I disclosed my location:
All up in your face
***
Redefine “torture”
To mean anything you want:
Waterboarding worked
***
Hello, Jon Stewart
You cried on September 12th
But haven’t since: Why?
***
Remember, lefties
I’m not running for office
Your polls make me laugh
***
This isn’t a smirk
You’re just not worth the regard
Of my entire face
***
Here’s to your speedy recovery, sir.
Update: Mild heart attack. I wonder if it’s possible for the people who don’t like him to try to imagine how they’d feel if this happened to them or someone they loved? And, accordingly, STFU?