Seriously, please ask him. I ask him every week and he won’t even acknowledge me. He never used to ignore my telepathic messages. We would talk for hours, day or night. He told me we would be together forever. FOREVER. Some of us still remember what that word means, Matt, you heartless bastard. I’m holding you personally responsible for my insomnia, my incontinence, and most particularly my secret cutting.
…wait. Labash? I thought it said “Ask Matt Welch.” Never mind.