Eight conversations you won’t hear at Wednesday’s State Dinner [SLIDESHOW]

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Tonight marks the Obamas’ state dinner, version 2.0: new party planner, new chef, new guests and a new outlook on life. And with any luck, fewer gate crashers.

The president and first lady will honor Mexican President Felipe Calderon and his wife, Margarita Zavala, by hosting a lavish dinner for 200, featuring a sprinkling of celebrities.

Michelle Obama and her new social secretary, Julianna Smoot, have gone to great lengths to ensure that this dinner is in no way like its ugly predecessor for the Indian prime minister. Smoot and her small staff have worked overtime for months to create the perfect atmosphere and guest list. Michelle took the menu into her own hands and tapped chef Rick Bayless of Topolobampo, an upscale contemporary Mexican restuarant in Chicago, to serve innovative and authentic dishes.

We also know that the Obamas have invited almost every Mexican-American athlete and celebrity imaginable, including George Lopez, Eva Longoria and Lorena Ochoa.

That’s all that’s been confirmed so far. Without benefit of the complete guest list, we’ve identified guests we believe MIGHT be in attendance, and imagined some of the dinner conversations we are confident WON’T be taking place on Wednesday evening at the White House: