Here are some ideas to get you started:
“OMG BP IZ TEH SUXXXORZ LOL”
“Okay, but the more oil that goes in the water, the less that goes in the cars. That’s good, right?”
“Yes, dear. No, dear. I will, dear.”
“Not sure. I think he was in the Rolling Stones with John Lennon?”
“Plz resend, missing attachment w/ Jon Stewart’s tax return”
Write down yours in the comments if you feel like it! And then read this.