Dear Bullies

John Schlimm Contributor
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Dear Bullies,

Words like…






…roll off your tongue pretty easily, don’t they?

I bet you feel a killer adrenaline rush when spitting those words at someone, especially when you see them cower in front of you or, even better yet, cry and run away.  After all, inducing tears and fear is your ultimate tour de force.

Of course, when you blindside your targets online while hiding behind some silly username or via text and email, you’re robbed of that face-to-face thrill.  It’s such a shame you have to miss it, because oftentimes your emotional gutting in the isolated privacy of a bedroom or dorm room or quiet corner is even bloodier.

The thing is, Bullies, as special as you may think you are, you’re nothing new.  You’ve been around ever since Cain clubbed Abel over the head.  And, like millions, I’ve known several of you very well throughout my life.  I’ve looked into your eyes many times as victim, educator, and even colleague.  I’ve heard your cruel words; felt your cold touch.

However, what I see in your eyes every time we meet is not confidence, or control, or even the power you so desperately crave, but rather your eyes actually SCREAM of fear, bitterness, loneliness, insecurity, hatred, self-destructiveness, sometimes nothing — each a hallmark of a skilled abuser.

You know what I think?  I think all you want is to be liked and accepted, just like each of us does.

All the same, my goodness, you do get around.  I’ve seen you in middle school halls, I’ve met you at high school dances, I’ve sat with you in Ivy League classrooms, I’ve heard from you on the Internet, I’ve walked with you in corridors of the highest power, and I’ve even found you at my book signings and at parties.  You are male, you are female; you are 12, you are 16, you are 25, you are 38, you are 68.  I’ve got to hand it to you, Bullies, you universally span gender, age, race, and creed without exception.  Like a fine-tuned virus, you’ve managed to infect every facet of society.

To your credit (This should stroke your twisted egos a bit…), your efforts have finally paid off: You’ve managed to become the worst of the worst terrorists to ever rock the planet.

Yep, pat yourself on the back, Bullies, you are bona fide terrorists of humanity, leaving an incalculable pile of victims in your wake.  Or do you prefer the accolade of psychopath?  Then again, the stories I’ve heard of you walking up to your victims’ open caskets and laughing (yes, LAUGHING!) certainly qualify you as A+ sadists!  Or, maybe we just go with serial killer?  The latter has a particularly apt and timely ring to it, considering the blood on your hands.

Indeed, you are every one of those things, and so much more.

But now the bad news (You know the saying, all good things…):


I and a swelling army of crusaders are finally standing up and coming for you!  YOUR DAYS of spewing hate, of placing nooses around innocent necks, putting guns to distraught heads, dumping pills down helpless throats, and pushing desperate boys and girls, men and women off bridges and rooftops, and out their own bedroom windows, ARE OVER!



You now have a big scarlet “B” on your forehead.  You are no longer invisible, no longer flying under the radar, no longer being tolerated.

There are only two pathways ahead of you:

ONE: You can stand down, take our hand when extended to you in peace, and move forward.  (Believe it or not, your victims’ capacity to forgive even the worst of your atrocities may surprise you, may even inspire you, and will show you what it truly means to be human.)

Or, TWO: You will continue to be one more unfortunate victim of your own self-hatred and loathing.

Normally I would say the choice is yours, but it isn’t anymore.

The choice is now OURS.

Peace and love!


John Schlimm is a member of one of the oldest brewing families in the United States, meaning he sees life through sudsy, gold-colored glasses. A former celebrity publicist, educator, and artist, John is the award-winning author of several books, including his latest, Harrah’s Entertainment Presents…The Seven Stars Cookbook as well as The Ultimate Beer Lover’s Cookbook (named “Best Beer Book in the U.S.” and “Best Beer Book in the World” by the international Gourmand Awards).

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