DC Trawler

Community Organizer-in-Chief Subcontracts Community Organizing

Kill Truck Contributor
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According to The Daily Caller, a website, President Obama has named yet another celebu-activist to yet another committee with a murky mission. This time it’s the White House Council for Community Solutions, which claims to be:

“a panel established to provide advice on “the best ways to mobilize citizens, nonprofits, businesses and government to work more effectively together to solve specific community needs.”

It sounds like a bureaucracy to run other bureaucracies. My mom worked at one of those. She used stories from that job to teach me to be a Republican. I’m also confused because I was under the impression that was the one thing Obama was supposed to know how to do. I’m pretty sure that’s what Oprah told me. which is as close to being in the Bible as a democrat can get. Just kidding. Not really.

Maybe he needed a hip face to distract people from asking, “HUH?” and “What for?” and “I thought you were gonna pay my mortgage.” But who has a hipper, more convincing face than Obama himself? Boy, a lot changed in 2 years.

Alas, this thing is funded by the 2009 Edward M. Kennedy Serve America Act. Connecting it to the late senator was clever. This way the swing voters will think the Kennedys are paying for it. (God help us, those swing voters decide everything.)

Nevertheless, BJ has answered this “call to serve (TM)”. I hope he has time for all this. As one can see from Bon Jovi’s own website, he’s still selling out arenas. That surprised me at first too, but remember, Bon Jovi is the face of faux rebellion. He subscribes to the Bruce Springsteen school of badass which teaches things like preaching your own wishy-washy political agenda to captive audiences that are blindly devoted to you out of nostalgia and inner despair. People love that crap, he’s set for life.

Speaking of captive audiences, my own cynical opinion tells me his fan-base consists of the faux rebellion of the 80s. Wild girls who used to smuggle mini-skirts into the mall bathroom where they would change their clothes then Aqua Net each other’s feathered bangs with reckless, CFC riddled abandon. Like Bon Jovi’s music, it was a safe rebellion. Also a safe rebellion? Marrying dentists, moving to the burbs, then spending that sweet, sweet disposable income on Bon Jovi tickets because that’s the one thing less boring than your life. (What do you mean bitter and projecting?)

I might be a jerk, not to mention off topic. According to his own website, Bon Jovi has this foundation that’s been serving the poor with public and private funds for years. That’s nice enough, but it still doesn’t explain “Young Guns” or why President Obama keeps doing this. See Kal Penn and Sarah Jessica Parker. On the other hand, W liked hiring his friends. Perhaps we should be grateful Mr. Obama is employing some his most famous real life associates.

Kill Truck

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Neil Patel