Well, okay, look. Once you get started, there’s really only one way it’s gonna go.
In another repulsive in-flight episode, a Florida man was arrested last Thursday by the FBI after he allegedly “masturbated to the point of ejaculation” while traveling on a United Airlines flight en route to Colorado, The Smoking Gun has learned.
Kyle Pearce, 25, was busted after United Airlines Flight 340 arrived in Denver from Spokane, Washington, according to an affidavit sworn by FBI Agent Martin Daniel. Pearce was named in a May 20 misdemeanor criminal complaint charging him with making an “obscene and indecent exposure of his person” on an aircraft.
There’s no point flying the friendly skies if you’re not going to make friends with yourself. This young man’s only mistake was flying coach. In first class, they let you do whatever you want. Not to mention the extra elbow room. Plus, hey, you’re allowed up to three ounces, right?
Sorry, Mom.
(Hat tip and no other kind of tip: Ace of Spades)