Politics

Top 15 jokes in Ann Coulter’s ‘Demonic’

Jamie Weinstein Senior Writer
Font Size:

Like her or hate her, Ann Coulter is a fairly talented humorist.

Her new book, “Demonic: How the Liberal Mob is Endangering America,” contains well over 100 jokes and humorous quips, perhaps hundreds. Some are pretty good while others fall a bit flat. TheDC has combed through the book for Coulter’s very best comedic attempts. Find the best 15 jokes and witticisms ranked below:

15.) “In a YouTube video made by actor Ashton Kutcher just after Obama’s inauguration, dozens of Hollywood celebrities pledged ‘to be a servant to our president and all mankind.’ It was like something out of an Aztec festival of the gods – if what the Aztec gods wanted was for Hollywood actresses like Eva Longoria to use ‘less bottled water.’”

14.) Referring to President Obama’s repeated statements that Republicans drove the economy into a ditch: “It was always a ‘ditch’ and not a ‘pond’ because a pond would have been offensive to Ted Kennedy.”

13.) “Bill Clinton was called a rock star so often, the expression ‘rock star’ surpassed ‘perfect story’ as the most irritating cliché of the century. (In fairness, if  ‘rock star’ means someone who sleeps with countless groupies, then Bill Clinton was a rock star.)”

12.) “With the soul of an actress, Keith [Olbermann] borrows other people’s opinions, adds the sanctimony and indignation, and delivers speeches in a deeper baritone, wearing glasses so morons think he is a genius.”

11.) “Then congressman Christopher Dodd (D-CT) said the ‘greatest gift our country can give to the Cambodian people is peace, not guns. And the best way to accomplish that goal is by ending military aid now.’ This would be like suggesting the best way to help a woman being raped is to give her a little privacy.”

10.) “Having your intelligence questioned by Katie Couric must be like having Michael Moore say to you, ‘Have you put on a few pounds.’”

9.) “Naturally, the people most ostentatiously bothered by Sarah Palin’s purported idiocy were the most aggressive social climbers. Their pinup is Keith Olbermann, who was practicing radio at age six, while other boys were learning how to throw things and prevent girls from beating them up.”

8.) “A certain kind of idiot thinks he’s made a great intellectual point by saying, ‘Follow the money.’”

7.) “The Left’s robotic speaking style helps explain why liberals have never been able to make a dent in talk radio, despite many tries…Being endlessly lectured by deadly earnest liberals is boring. Ask any Cuban.”

6.)“They have complained that he [Gustave Le Bon] merely ‘articulated the propertied classes’ fear of the mob.’ Who likes mobs? Renters? Window manufacturers? Rope salesmen?”

5.) “The French celebrate Bastille Day, a day when thousands of armed Parisians stormed a nearly empty prison, savagely murdered a half-dozen guards, defaced their corpses, and stuck heads on pikes, all in order to seize arms and gunpowder for more such tumults. It would be as if this country had a national holiday to celebrate the L.A. riots.”

4.) “Of course, as the leader of twelve apostles, even Jesus had more executive experience than Obama.”

3.) “There are only three memorable Republican slogans in the past half century – unless you count what Dick Cheney said to Pat Leahy on the Senate floor in 2004, in which case there have been four.”

2.) “Moreover, anyone who knows about these things knows that the United States has the worst intelligence-gathering operations in the world. The Czechs, the French, the Italians – even the Iraqis (who were trained by the Soviets) – have better intelligence. Burkina Faso has better intelligence – and their director of intelligence is a witch doctor. The marketing division of Wal-Mart has more reliable intel than the U.S. government.”

1.) “[Gary] Sick had been President Carter’s principal aide for Iran during the Iranian hostage crisis – as impressive a position as being FDR’s chief adviser on ‘sneak attacks’ in December 1941.”

Email Jamie Weinstein and follow him on Twitter

PREMIUM ARTICLE: Subscribe To Keep Reading

Sign up

By subscribing you agree to our Terms of Use

You're signed up!

Sign up

By subscribing you agree to our Terms of Use

You're signed up!
Sign up

By subscribing you agree to our Terms of Use

You're signed up!

Sign up

By subscribing you agree to our Terms of Use

You're signed up!
Sign up

By subscribing you agree to our Terms of Use

You're signed up!

Sign Up

By subscribing you agree to our Terms of Use

You're signed up!
Sign up

By subscribing you agree to our Terms of Use

You're signed up!
Sign up

By subscribing you agree to our Terms of Use

You're signed up!
BENEFITS READERS PASS PATRIOTS FOUNDERS
Daily and Breaking Newsletters
Daily Caller Shows
Ad Free Experience
Exclusive Articles
Custom Newsletters
Editor Daily Rundown
Behind The Scenes Coverage
Award Winning Documentaries
Patriot War Room
Patriot Live Chat
Exclusive Events
Gold Membership Card
Tucker Mug

What does Founders Club include?

Tucker Mug and Membership Card
Founders

Readers,

Instead of sucking up to the political and corporate powers that dominate America, The Daily Caller is fighting for you — our readers. We humbly ask you to consider joining us in this fight.

Now that millions of readers are rejecting the increasingly biased and even corrupt corporate media and joining us daily, there are powerful forces lined up to stop us: the old guard of the news media hopes to marginalize us; the big corporate ad agencies want to deprive us of revenue and put us out of business; senators threaten to have our reporters arrested for asking simple questions; the big tech platforms want to limit our ability to communicate with you; and the political party establishments feel threatened by our independence.

We don't complain -- we can't stand complainers -- but we do call it how we see it. We have a fight on our hands, and it's intense. We need your help to smash through the big tech, big media and big government blockade.

We're the insurgent outsiders for a reason: our deep-dive investigations hold the powerful to account. Our original videos undermine their narratives on a daily basis. Even our insistence on having fun infuriates them -- because we won’t bend the knee to political correctness.

One reason we stand apart is because we are not afraid to say we love America. We love her with every fiber of our being, and we think she's worth saving from today’s craziness.

Help us save her.

A second reason we stand out is the sheer number of honest responsible reporters we have helped train. We have trained so many solid reporters that they now hold prominent positions at publications across the political spectrum. Hear a rare reasonable voice at a place like CNN? There’s a good chance they were trained at Daily Caller. Same goes for the numerous Daily Caller alumni dominating the news coverage at outlets such as Fox News, Newsmax, Daily Wire and many others.

Simply put, America needs solid reporters fighting to tell the truth or we will never have honest elections or a fair system. We are working tirelessly to make that happen and we are making a difference.

Since 2010, The Daily Caller has grown immensely. We're in the halls of Congress. We're in the Oval Office. And we're in up to 20 million homes every single month. That's 20 million Americans like you who are impossible to ignore.

We can overcome the forces lined up against all of us. This is an important mission but we can’t do it unless you — the everyday Americans forgotten by the establishment — have our back.

Please consider becoming a Daily Caller Patriot today, and help us keep doing work that holds politicians, corporations and other leaders accountable. Help us thumb our noses at political correctness. Help us train a new generation of news reporters who will actually tell the truth. And help us remind Americans everywhere that there are millions of us who remain clear-eyed about our country's greatness.

In return for membership, Daily Caller Patriots will be able to read The Daily Caller without any of the ads that we have long used to support our mission. We know the ads drive you crazy. They drive us crazy too. But we need revenue to keep the fight going. If you join us, we will cut out the ads for you and put every Lincoln-headed cent we earn into amplifying our voice, training even more solid reporters, and giving you the ad-free experience and lightning fast website you deserve.

Patriots will also be eligible for Patriots Only content, newsletters, chats and live events with our reporters and editors. It's simple: welcome us into your lives, and we'll welcome you into ours.

We can save America together.

Become a Daily Caller Patriot today.

Signature

Neil Patel