Happy 50th birthday, Mr. President!

David Bossie President, Citizens United
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Paul Simon had “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover.” Here are 50 ways not to get re-elected.

1. Oversee 9.2 percent unemployment.

2. Sign Obamacare.

3. Appoint White House czars.

4. Insist that tax increases be on the table in debt talks and super committee proceedings.

5. Fail to put forth plans for the most important issues of the day.

6. Vastly expand the size and influence of government.

7. Allow the national debt to increase by trillions.

8. Defend the status quo: Obama originally asked for a clean debt ceiling bill, with no cuts or reforms.

9. Call $14.3 TRILLION debt a manufactured crisis.

10. Oversee record budget deficits.

11. Waste a year passing Obamacare instead of focusing on jobs.

12. Appoint Van Jones!

13. Realize after it’s too late that “Shovel-ready was not as shovel-ready as we expected.”

14. Misunderstand the concept of American exceptionalism.

15. Attack the Supreme Court at the State of the Union.

16. Sell yourself as a moderate on the campaign trail when you’re actually ultra-liberal.

17. Say you’re “post-partisan” on the campaign trail, and then be hyper-partisan.

18. Turn a blind eye to Priorities USA after attacking outside groups your entire career.

19. Issue Obamacare waivers.

20. Give lobbyists waivers to work in your administration.

21. Appoint a tax cheat as Treasury secretary.

22. Issue an executive order to close Gitmo without coming up with a plan for what to do with the enemy combatants.

23. Set the wrong tone by ramming through a partisan “stimulus.”

24. Spend $278,000 per stimulus job.

25. Spend billions on auto bailouts.

26. Don’t muster the political courage to reform entitlement programs.

27. Criticize America in speeches overseas.

28. Continue to blame your predecessor for your own inability to achieve positive results.

29. Appoint a DHS secretary who thinks terrorist attacks should be called “man-caused disasters.”

30. Call War on Terror an “overseas contingency operation.”

31. Mistake job-killing cap-and-trade bill for a comprehensive energy program.

32. Keep America dependent on Middle Eastern oil …

33. Push policies that contribute to really high gas prices.

34. Say that Israel should return to its 1967 borders.

35. Argue that terrorists should be tried in civilian courts.

36. Put forward a budget that is so out of touch with reality it received ZERO votes in the U.S. Senate.

37. Produce something along the lines of the “Beer Summit” fiasco.

38. Get us bogged down in Libya.

39. Go golfing way too much for the leader of a country with 9.2 percent unemployment.

40. Refuse to enforce DOMA, a law on the books.

41. Support the Ground Zero mosque, then backtrack.

42. Pick Joe Biden as your vice president.

43. Tape a campaign fundraising video in the White House.

44. Continue to reward illegal immigration by proposing amnesty.

45. Defend failed public-sector unions’ status quo despite what they’ve done to state budgets.

46. Promise change but practice business as usual.

47. Need to raise a BILLION dollars to persuade people that you aren’t Jimmy Carter.

48. Forget that it’s the economy, stupid!

49. Disappoint America.

50. Leave people answering “no” to the question: Are you better off today than you were 2.5 years ago?

David Bossie is the president of Citizens United and Citizens United Productions, and the executive producer of “America at Risk.”