What if Roseanne wins?

Dorian Davis Adjunct Journalism Professor, Marymount Manhattan College
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The media seem focused on the potential constitutional crisis that could result from President Obama circumventing Congress and instituting his domestic agenda through executive orders. But another potential constitutional crisis seems to have escaped their notice: the prospect of Roseanne Barr winning the presidencies of both the United States and Israel.

In May 2010, on a soapbox across the street from the White House, under a banner that read “One Taxpayer Mother’s Manifesto,” Barr announced her run for both offices on the “Green Tea Party” ticket as a bid to “solve the world’s problems,” as she put it at the time. “This is a twofer,” she told a crowd of her cameramen. Her platform for U.S. president included legalizing marijuana, ending the war on drugs, establishing gender quotas for government service, making small business grants to the poor and outlawing “bullshit.” For her prospective role as Israeli prime minister, she outlined a separate plan to put “the pal back in Palestinian,” paying Arabs “not to shoot Jews.” This past summer, Barr turned up on “The View” to reiterate her commitment to running for dual leadership roles, and she repeated her pledge to run on “The Tonight Show” in August. But her potential victories in the U.S. and Israel could have dire consequences for both countries and for the world.

On the domestic front, for instance, it could result in electoral chaos. There’s nothing in the Constitution that bars the president from serving as the head of two states at once. But this is bound to wind up at the Supreme Court. And it’s hard to picture SCOTUS ruling in Barr’s favor, as part of her platform is to “junk this whole government” and start over. That would put her vice president, “the taxpayers,” in charge, and the battle over who specifically should ascent to the White House could be tied up in court indefinitely.

Internationally, her winning both races could send conflicting messages about America’s foreign policy. Picture Barr having summits with herself: greeting an empty chair next to the Oval Office fireplace, welcoming herself to the White House to talk about Israel’s possible return to its 1967 borders and then switching seats five minutes later to rebuke herself for suggesting it. Then there’d be accusations of flip-flopping. The RNC would use the footage against her in 2016. Her re-election chances would start to fade and potentially destabilize the Middle East.

With Election Day just 12 months away and candidates like Cain and Perry soaking up the spotlight, it’s easy to dismiss the potential repercussions of a Roseanne victory. But over 46 percent of readers supported her candidacy in one blog’s unscientific poll last summer. That, coupled with growing dissatisfaction about the incumbent president and the Republican field, could portend a Roseanne landslide next November. It might be time to brace for, and look at solutions to, the potential fallout.

Dorian Davis is a former MTV HITS star turned libertarian writer. He’s been published in Business Week, The New York Daily News, XY & more. He’s an NYU graduate and National Journalism Center alum. He teaches journalism at Marymount Manhattan College.