DC Trawler

TheDC Morning: Perry preoccupied

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1.) Perry preoccupied — Another debate last night. Yay. So, what was the big pseudo-news this time? TheDC’s Will Rahn reports:

“Texas Gov. Rick Perry, the one-time Republican front-runner who saw his star fade after a series of shabby debate performances, made yet another unforced error during Wednesday’s Republican presidential debate. While selling his tax plan and his record in Texas, Perry said three government agencies would be eliminated in a Perry presidency. ‘I will tell you, it’s three agencies of government, when I get there, that are gone,’ he said. ‘Commerce, education, and the, um, what’s the third one there …’ Perry then trailed off, unable to remember the third agency he would eliminate.”

You know who’s breathing a sigh of relief this morning, secure in the guarantee of lifetime employment? The U.S. Department of Mnemonics. After an excruciating interval, and after actually saying the word “Oops,” Perry finally remembered what he was going to say and nobody cared anyway. If that signaled the end of Perry’s candidacy, as some are saying, at least we won’t have to hear anything more about what was painted on a rock in his yard 30 years ago.

In other debate news, the audience booed CNBC moderator Maria Bartiromo for asking Herman Cain about the so-far-unproven allegations against him by women whose credibility fades with each new fact we learn. Bartiromo was just doing her job, of course, but maybe that’ll give the head honchos at NBC some idea of how their latest narrative is going over with the public. That and their ratings. Here’s how Cain answered the question, to thunderous applause: “The American people deserve better than someone being tried in the court of public opinion based on unfounded accusations.” You’d think, wouldn’t you?

P.S. The candidates were also asked to describe, in 30 seconds or less, how they’d get rid of Obamacare. None of them gave the simplest and most obvious answer: “Doc Brown.”

2.) Holder’s hopes molder — Eric Holder’s testimony on Tuesday was a big hit with nobody. TheDC’s Matthew Boyle reports:

“Republican congressmen Bill Flores of Texas and Frank LoBiondo of New Jersey have added their names to a list of members of Congress calling for Attorney General Eric Holder’s immediate resignation, increasing that list’s number to 38. A spokesperson for Flores said he is calling for Holder’s resignation ‘in light of Tuesday’s testimony’ before the Senate Judiciary Committee. During that hearing, Holder deflected questions about who he is holding accountable for the scandal-prone Operation Fast and Furious, changed the timeline of his recollections, refused to provide details about a letter to Congress containing at least one false statement, and said he had not spoken to the family of murdered Border Patrol agent Brian Terry.”

Other than that, he did great. His latest testimony caused Terry’s family to finally break their silence and release a statement:

“Mr. Holder needs to own Operation Fast and Furious. In the end, Mr. Holder may chose not to apologize to the Terry family for the role that ATF and DOJ played in the death of Brian Terry, but the Attorney General should accept responsibility immediately. It is without question the right thing to do.”

Which is why it won’t happen without a fight.

3.) More sunlight on White House/Solyndra — Are you sitting down? You should sit down, because we’ve got some shocking news: The White House said something about Solyndra that wasn’t true. TheDC’s C.J. Ciaramella reports:

“Newly disclosed emails show Democratic fundraiser and Solyndra investor George Kaiser talked directly with White House officials about the now-bankrupt solar company’s $535 million loan guarantee from the Department of Energy, contrary to what the White House has claimed… Tulsa billionaire George Kaiser, a key Obama backer who raised between $50,000 and $100,000 for the president’s election campaign, was one of Solyndra’s primary investors… Just days before the Solyndra loan was finalized, Kaiser met with administration officials. A White House official told ABC News on Oct. 6 that the White House firmly believed that Kaiser never broached the subject of the Solyndra loan… The White House claimed that only matters concerning Kaiser’s charitable foundation were discussed. Yet in a March 5 email, Kaiser wrote to Mitchell: ‘BTW, a couple of weeks ago, when Ken and I were visiting with a group of Administration folks in DC who are in charge of the stimulus process (White House, not DOE) and Solyndra came up, every one of them responded simultaneously about their thorough knowledge of the Solyndra story, suggesting it was one of their prime poster children.’ Other disclosed emails point to more communications between the White House, the George Kaiser Family Foundation and Solyndra regarding the half-billion dollar loan. ‘They about had an orgasm in Biden’s office when we mentioned Solyndra,’ Ken Levit, CEO of the Kaiser Family Foundation wrote in an email to Solyndra board member Steve Mitchell on Feb. 27, 2010.”

An obvious case of premature exhilaration. And yet now, nobody who was in the Obama administration at the time can remember anything about any sort of “Solyndra” business. What a difference a bankruptcy makes! The administration continues to deny any political favoritism, because it’s all just words anyway.

4.) New York Times notices some problems with Occupy movement — How bad are things getting in the filthy, crime-plagued Obamaville that used to be Zuccotti Park? Not even the NYT can cover for them anymore!

“The arrest of a Crown Heights man last week on charges of sexually assaulting a protester at Zuccotti Park added to an already raucous public discussion of lawlessness at the site, where a revolving group of demonstrators has been camped for nearly eight weeks. Stories of crimes and dangerous behavior, mostly anecdotal, have been used as fuel by those who say the protesters must go… The protesters have maintained a de facto security team for many weeks, bolstering their numbers with volunteers from outside their ranks, including former gang members… When confronted with a rabble-rouser, protesters use a technique they call de-escalation, talking provocateurs down or putting their bodies between people throwing punches… On Monday night around 10, a security team meeting was disrupted at least twice by urgent calls for help in different parts of the park. Toward the western end, two raggedy men, one with facial tattoos, were yelling at each other. Shortly afterward, a man wearing a baseball hat stormed into the park, yelling, ‘Are you ready to die for this cause?’ and drawing a fist.”

It sounds a lot like the sort of violent chaos they kept saying the Tea Party was going to turn into, doesn’t it? Still waiting on that one. By the way, aren’t pretty much all crime reports anecdotal? Isn’t an eyewitness statement an anecdote? See, this is why you have to be really, really smart to work at the New York Times.

5.) The Day the Earth Kept Turning — Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones have been busy lately, as TheDC’s Jordan Bloom reports:

“They want to believe. That is, the thousands of UFO disclosure activists, who have been clamoring for the federal government to release evidence of extraterrestrials, purportedly covered up since the first half of the 20th century. Two petitions — totaling more than 17,000 signatures — requested the government to disclose any and all documents pertaining to extraterrestrial contact with humans garnered a response that probably disappointed the erstwhile Fox Mulders. On Friday, a member of the White House’s Office of Science and Technology Policy denied covering up evidence of contact with aliens in response to an online petition submitted on the White House’s website. ‘The U.S. government has no evidence that any life exists outside our planet, or that an extraterrestrial presence has contacted or engaged any member of the human race,’ the statement read.”

That’s just what they want you to think! And if you’re making a Michelle Obama joke right now, you should be ashamed of yourself.

6.) Today’s words of wisdom from the Twitter feed of doting parent and future mayor of New York, Alec Baldwin — “Add Paterno’s name to the list of people who exit the stage embroiled in a sex scandal. Sad.”

VIDEO: Clint Eastwood triggers new round of “Cheney shooting people in the face” jokes

To read TheDC Morning before everybody else, click here.

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