Didja hear the one about PETA taking Sea World to court for violating the 13th Amendment by keeping killer whales locked up and forced to do tricks for fat people? Because PETA totally did that. (I found out about it from my pal Mike Riggs, who had yet another headline I wish I’d written.)
Well, so much for that idea. Reuters:
A federal judge on Wednesday threw out an animal rights group’s lawsuit accusing SeaWorld of enslaving captive killer whales, ruling that orcas had no standing to seek the same constitutional rights as people.
People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, or PETA, had accused the chain of aquatic theme parks of violating the rights of whales under the 13th Amendent of the U.S. Constitution, which abolished slavery in the United States.
The lawsuit, filed in U.S. District Court in San Diego, listed five performing orcas at SeaWorld’s parks in California and Florida – Tilikum, Katina, Corky, Kasatka and Ulises – as plaintiffs in the complaint.
Too bad none of them got to take the stand. “Raise your right pectoral fin…”
It’s easy to laugh at PETA. Give it a try if you don’t believe me. But no matter how silly and frivolous you might find them, keep one thing in mind: Everything they do is for a porpoise.
P.S. I’m trying to imagine how I’d feel about PETA right now if I were the descendant of somebody who was freed by the 13th Amendment. I wonder how I’d feel about PETA trying to cheapen it for their own ends.