DC Trawler

Remember when John Edwards, Rielle Hunter, and their secret baby weren’t considered newsworthy?

After the National Enquirer caught Edwards red-handed and he bumbled around trying to make it go away, the media did their best to help him. They turned a blind eye to it for weeks. But that was way back in the summer of ’08, when Edwards’ minor little indiscretion might’ve reflected badly on the Democrats heading into November. It was left to the Enquirer and a few bloggers to cover it, because 99.9% of the media abdicated their responsibilities. (Keep rockin’, LA Times!) After the election, of course, it was safe for our benevolent gatekeepers to cover the story and pretend they’d been on it all along.

Now Edwards and Hunter have outlived their usefulness. And another sad chapter in the lives of these two arrogant, mentally ill idiots has come to a close. Sort of. ABC News:

The long-running court battle over a sexually explicit videotape featuring former Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards and his mistress, Rielle Hunter, has been settled out of court today and all copies of the tape will be destroyed, ABC News has learned.

According to North Carolina court officials and a Hunter spokesperson, Hunter and former Edwards’ aide Andrew Young, along with his wife Cheri, agreed to end their dispute more than two years after the case was originally filed. Under the terms of the settlement, all known copies of the sex tape are to be destroyed within 30 days. If other copies of the tape surface later, the agreement requires those to be destroyed as well…

Hunter spokesperson RoseMarie Terenzio told ABC News today that ”Ms. Hunter is very pleased. She won.”

So that’s the last we’ll ever hear about this sex tape. That is, until a copy of this sex tape surfaces. When was the last time a sex tape didn’t end up on the Internet? That was the whole purpose of ARPANET in the first place, way back in the ’60s. The Defense Dept. needed a way to distribute Khrushchev’s dirty home movies for blackmail purposes. That’s why the Soviets didn’t blow us up after the Bay of Pigs. True story.

Anyway. John Edwards. I’d almost feel sorry for him, if such a notion weren’t so completely ridiculous.

And the thing of it is? He still would’ve been a better president than Obama.