5 things you don’t know about President Barack Obama

Taylor Bigler Entertainment Editor
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President Barack Obama EXCLUSIVELY revealed five previously “unknown” facts to celebrity rag, Us Weekly, and the truths will absolutely shock you. (Not really.)

  1. Obama once kissed his wife on the mouth in public at a Chicago Baskin-Robbins, whose reputation as a family-friendly ice cream parlor is now tarnished.
  2. The president was once picked up and hugged by the owner of a Florida pizza parlor, which is not new information whatsoever since the photograph went viral when it happened several weeks ago, so Obama lied through his teeth when he names it as something “you don’t know about me.”
  3. “Homeland” is the president’s favorite television series, which is an excellent choice but also not a new fact since he has mentioned his love for the show on numerous occasions.
  4. The Obamas’ oldest daughter Malia started high school this year — information that is neither new, nor actually about the president himself.
  5. Obama voted early in Chicago — most likely for himself (cough, narcissist) — another “new” fact that is not new at all since the president told everyone he went to Chicago and voted in person on his own Twitter feed last week.

It is but five days before the election, and Obama is telling lies to a revered journalistic enterprise like Us Weekly. This sh*t will not stand.

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