DC Trawler

Bad news for San Francisco nudists

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If you love freedom, then the following injustice cannot, must not go unchallenged. The San Fran city council has a lot of balls, telling people to cover up their own.

SF Chronicle:

Undressing in public will likely no longer go unpunished in San Francisco, as the Board of Supervisors voted by the barest of margins Tuesday to ban public nudity.

Derided by nudity defenders as an attack on personal expression and supported by others who’ve had enough of seeing those who let it all hang out, the legislation bans genital exposure on all city sidewalks, plazas, parklets, streets and public transit…

“I don’t agree that having yellow hair is the same as exposing your penis at a busy street corner for hours and hours,” [Scott Wiener, hateful fascist and sponsor of the proposal] said.

The only thing that’s naked here is the abuse of power by these modesty-Nazis. The United States Constitution has never required anyone to buy anything as a condition of citizenship. (Well, before Obamacare, that is. Shut up.) So why are they requiring people to buy clothes?

This calls for a chant! There’s no problem you can’t solve with a really good chant.

Show us what your genitals look like!

Hey, hey! Ho, ho! We’ve got to put our junk on show!

All day, all week! Flaunt your quite small meat!

The people! Denuded! Will never be secluded!

Two, four, six, eight, testicles are really great!
Ten, twelve, fourteen, sixteen, don’t forget to bring your sunscreen!

This isn’t over, you Bay Area Hitlers. We are the 99% unclad. (I’d advise keeping your shoes on. It’s San Francisco, you don’t want to step on somebody’s crack pipe or dirty needle.)