Matt Damon responds to Ben Affleck haters

Richard Thompson Contributor
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When it was announced last week that Ben Affleck would be playing the role of Batman in director Zach Snyder’s adaptation of “Batman vs. Superman,” angry fans of the film franchise took to Twitter in droves to protest. There was even a petition to get Affleck removed from the role, which has since reached over 70,000 signatures. Actor and friend of Affleck Matt Damon wrote a letter in response to all the harsh criticism. Damon released a copy of the letter to the Daily Caller for exclusive publication. A full and unedited copy of the transcript is printed below. 

Deah loosahs,

When Benny told me he’d be playin’ Brucie Wayne in the movies, wicked pissah I said. I mean, friggin’ A, this was the role of a life. I friggin’ cried.

But then I sees that a bunch of you wahoos stahted bustin’ Benny’s chops on Twittahs and signin’ things that are all like “Ben Affleck is Satan” and so forth. I haven’t been this friggin’ pissed off since the Whitey verdict.

So, I just got a few things to say to all yiz no-sayers. Firstly, we all know that Benny ain’t no Chris Bale. Dude’s a friggin’ Picasso. The Fightah? I friggin’ cried. Wicked good movie.

But how many Oscah Awards does he have? Only one? Well, my pally Benny’s got two. That’s right, two. Two friggin’ Oscahs. So you’re tryna say that he doesn’t have the know-whats to pull it off? Wicked retahdid.

Second most, Ben knows what it takes to play a tough guy role like Brucie the Bat. How may you ask? In case you were living under rocks, you know that me and Benny grew up on the tough streets of Boston. We hung around guys like Normy No-legs, Micky “the Mick” MickDonald, and Tom Brady. Believe me you, we were the toughest guys on the block.

So don’t tell me Benny couldn’t handle no Jokah. We roughed up jokahs every day. I remember one time we were drinking at O’Sullihans after a Mets game. Benny has one too many brewskis and starts yapping at the bartender to bust out shots of Jamo. The bartender’s all like “you’re friggin’ cut off.” So, then Benny friggin’ breaks off a table leg and stabs the bartender in the friggin’ neck. Dude was friggin’ dead like “wham!” You think Chrissy Bale would have done that? Ain’t no how.

Thirdski, and important mostly, is that Benny loves the supah movies. You see the kid in Daredevil? I friggin’ cried. How he didn’t get no Oscah is wicked retahdid. He could play any superhero out there. Batman? No problem. Supahman? A cinch. Wonder Woman? Get Benny a wig and a push-up bra and he’s a shoe-in. The kid lives and eats supah heroes and there ain’t nothing he wouldn’t do for a chance to play Boston’s second favorite bat.

So lay off Benny and give the kid a chance. He may be all rough and tumblin’ on the outside but inside he’s just a big softie.

Sincerely bite me,


P.S. Check out Elysium. You’ll friggin cry.

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