The thought of writing your own obituary may seem morbid in theory, but if you were Walter George Bruhl, Jr. of Dewey Beach, Del. then you would have done the world a disservice by not doing so.
“Walter George Bruhl Jr. of Newark and Dewey Beach is a dead person; he is no more; he is bereft of life; he is deceased; he has rung down the curtain and gone to join the choir invisible; he has expired and gone to meet his maker,” the Korean War veteran wrote in his own obituary that was published in the Delaware’s Cape Gazette on Tuesday.
Bruhl wrote that his wife of 57 years can now breath a sigh of relief that she can finally purchase the mink coat she has always wanted, “because he believed only minks should wear mink.”
Bruhl mentioned who he would be rejoined with in heaven: “Walt was preceded in death by his tonsils and adenoids in 1935; a spinal disc in 1974; a large piece of his thyroid gland in 1988; and his prostate on March 27, 2000.”
Unfortunately, Bruhl’s final wishes will not be met by his family, but at least he knew it beforehand: “There will be no viewing since his wife refuses to honor his request to have him standing in the corner of the room with a glass of Jack Daniels in his hand so he would appear natural to visitors.”
Instead, there will be a memorial luncheon this weekend. In lieu of flowers, Bruhl asked his friends and family to “do an unexpected and unsolicited act of kindness for some poor unfortunate soul in his name.”
Walt, we never knew ye, but we wish we did.