Colonel Sanders isn’t the hero America deserves, but he’s the hero she needs right now.
Since he disappeared without a trace some 35-odd years ago*, our culture has been assaulted by a wave of organic kale and smoothie-shakes. Now, when our great nation needs him the most, the good Col. has returned to once again spread his gospel of finger lickin’ chicken.
* editor’s note: The original “Colonel Harland Sanders” — creator of the secret KFC recipe — died in 1980. The man portraying him is SNL alum Darryl Hammond.
Or a ghost.