It must be great to be a cheater these days.
Between romping around Las Vegas with the family nanny and making online profiles so you can get laid by other people’s spouses, cheaters are reaching their climax.
But if you’re a woman in (what you hope is) a monogamous relationship, life ain’t so easy.
We’re living in an age where a woman like Jennifer Garner who is worth $40 million is being cheated on with a nannny like Christine Ouzounian, whose biggest asset is her $50,000 Lexus.
While The Huffington Post figures the only way to never get cheated on is to never date, we’ve got something else in mind.
Here are nine easy ways to make sure he doesn’t cheat.
1. Purchase a treadmill
Need we say more?
2. Get breast implants
Go big or go home.
3. Take a cooking class
The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, your grandmother always said.
4. Clean the house
Have you wiped down those baseboards lately?
5. Memorize Cosmo sex tips
Cover to cover.
6. Bring other women into the relationship
Keep him on his toes.
7. Stop talking
Always keep your thoughts to yourself.
8. Wear heels
Monogamy = pain.
9. Give him permission
It’s not cheating if you say it’s OK.