DC Trawler

Trump Finally Says Something I Like

(REUTERS/Carlo Allegri)

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Look, I don’t have anything in particular against babies. Everybody loves babies, Planned Parenthood aside. I’m sure your baby is great. He or she is undoubtedly cute and smart and wonderful, because you’re cute and smart and wonderful. Terrific. You’re terrific, and your baby is terrific. Good for you.

That being said, let’s face it: Babies make a lot of noise. They can’t help it, they’re babies! But adults have things to do without having to listen to other people’s children crying all day, which is why we have cry rooms and daycare centers and textile factories.

So, as patently unsuited for the presidency as Donald J. Trump is, at least he’s not afraid to tell a squalling brat to hit the bricks already.

“Actually, I was only kidding. You can get the baby outta here.” Come on, that was funny. You laughed, admit it. You can admit it. Doesn’t make you a bad person.

I have no idea if Trump’s yammering about China makes any sense. (If it does, congratulations. If not, who cares anyway?) But he’s saying it at his rally. People are there to hear him, not your baby. If you insist on bringing your kid to a political rally, you should be prepared for some public humiliation.

Especially at a Trump rally. After all, he turns on everybody else who supports him. Why should you be any different? What makes you so special?

Nothing, that’s what. He alone can fix. Now take your baby and scram, toots. Let that be a lesson to ya.