It’s time for people across the country to stop appropriating the cultures of other people, and that includes white people.

I used to think it was totally acceptable for me to throw on a sombrero at an Alamo-themed party and crush Mexican beers. I didn’t understand the irreparable damage I was doing to the culture of Hispanics. I am truly sorry and in an attempt to make amends I now fully believe that appropriating the cultures of other ethnicities must end.

It’s a simple trade — and it’s a fair trade. If we truly want to be equal then all different races and ethnic groups must come together and agree to never steal anything from any other culture. I know America is supposed to be a melting pot of races and ideas, but that’s a dangerous belief to hold in our modern society.

I will never wear a sombrero again, never eat Mexican and Chinese food again, never listen to rap music again and I will never ever watch soccer again. These are the sacrifices I am willing to make in the name of fairness, equality and respect for other cultures.

However, other cultures will also pay a steep price. Unfortunately there are many features of modern society that were invented by white people. That means going forward, only white people will be able to use them. This list includes many popular items like vaccines, airplanes, electricity, and lightbulbs. Will the life of minorities be easy without the ability to use medicine, electricity or traveling on planes? Probably not, but this is the sacrifice we must make in order to stop cultural appropriation.

Unfortunately, most sports leagues in America will also now only be able to have white people participate. Baseball was invented by white man Abner Doubleday. Football was also developed by a white man named Walter Camp. White man James Naismith also invented basketball. Allowing blacks to play in the NBA is unfortunately a egregious example of cultural appropriation. I love LeBron James, but not as much as I love fairness and equality, so unfortunately his days in the NBA will have to be over. I’m sure parents explaining to their young children why their favorite athletes can’t play anymore won’t be an easy conversation, but just focus on the fairness, equality and cultural appropriation to drive the point home.

I wish it didn’t have to be this way. I wish I could continue listening to Kendrick Lamar while drinking Mexican beer, but I will not participate in the form of oppression referred to as cultural appropriation. It’s a bleak future, but at least it’s a fair future. That’s all anybody can ask for in modern-day America.

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