Trump Made Lena Dunham Lose Weight
Specifically, Donald Trump’s victory over Hillary Clinton in the 2016 presidential election made Lena Dunham so depressed that she couldn’t eat, and as a result she accidentally lost weight. Still… at least she lost some weight!
Dunham stopped by Howard Stern’s SiriusXM radio show Monday morning and revealed that she has none other than Donald Trump to thank for her slim figure.
“Donald Trump became president and I stopped being able to eat food,” she told Stern after he complimented her look. “Everyone’s been asking like, ‘What have you been doing?’ And I’m like, ‘Try soul-crushing pain and devastation and hopelessness and you, too, will lose weight.’”
So it works out for everybody. Dunham gets to be a bit less fat, and the rest of us get to enjoy her immature overreaction to watching her preferred candidate lose an election. I’m really not seeing the problem.
Let’s just hope Amy Schumer is paying attention.
By the way, Dunham also told Stern that when she vowed to move to Canada if Trump won, she didn’t think he’d actually defeat “the most qualified candidate we’ve ever had.” So it doesn’t count and she doesn’t have to do it.
You’re welcome, Canada!
(Hat tip: Twitchy)
P.S. Yeah, I know, Trump is fat too. Fatter than most of his critics, even. Including me! But it doesn’t matter, because he’s a man. That’s just how it works in the patriarchy, which is where you’re stuck for the next 4-8 years. Sorry about it, fatties.