The MAGA Hat Christmas Ornament Only Has 5-Star Reviews And 1-Star Reviews


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By all accounts, this seems like a perfectly nice ornament. A must-have, even, for any supporter of the president. Most of the reviewers on Amazon gave it a perfect 5 out of 5 stars. They wrote these reviews (from last Christmas, for the most part):

  • Favorite ornament for Christmas 2016! Very well made!
  • Despite the very interesting one star reviews, decided to purchase this as an x-mas gift for a Trump supporter. They absolutely loved it, and took the time to show me how great it looked on their tree.
  • A little too expensive, but it is 14kt gold after all. I gave these as gifts and they LOVED them.
Photo via Amazon

Photo via Amazon

Trump Make America Great Again Red Cap Collectible Ornament — $96.88

But that hasn’t stopped the haters. Every review that is not a perfect 5 is a lowly 1, the worst possible score. Why? A problem with the quality? No, they simply don’t like the message of Making Christmas Great Again.

Take, for example, this screed:

Our tree had become a nation where we spent 60 years building a diverse and inclusive coalition among the ornaments. We brought in ornaments from all over the world of different shapes, sizes, brilliant gemlike colors with silver and gold details and others with unique characteristics. The tree blossomed and became a living representation of what a great tree nation looks like. It was respected among Christmas trees and forests of other religions globally. It was the leader of the tree world.

Naturally, it has had some interesting experiences with leader ornaments that were this gauche shade of red and brought all these identical clear ornaments with them that had the same gauche red stripe. That happened in the mid-70s, throughout the 80s, and much of the first decade of the 2000s. Very few of those ornaments who occupied the tree’s top looked like the oppulent ones of color on the rest of our tree (and these had no gemlike appearance) or the beautiful pearlescent white ones, some sparkly with rainbow paint, who got along with everyone.

Instead, these haters of diversity bullied and browbeat the ones of color, especially those from trees located south of ours and those representing different religious faiths. They came for the pearlescent white ally and rainbow ornaments. But we fought to keep the clock from being turned back to the days when the tree was represented largely one boring color of ornaments! I kept warning about how bad it could be for the diverse ornaments if that happened and we fought successfully to make sure it wouldn’t. We were determined to stay a tree nation.

We narrowly averted total disaster during those times and always seemed to come out of each time better for the experience with our tree nation continuing to grow healthier and stronger.

Our hope that our tree nation could have future with where all ornaments were truly accepted was boosted eight years ago by a brilliant brown and blue gemlike ornament that was the first of its kind. The tree natuon’s diverse ornaments supported his rise to the top of the tree! He faced a lot of challenges but he maintained his strength of character and resolve for the good of ornaments everywhere and remains a high value one of a kind addition to our proud tree nation. He’s been an excellent leader of the tree world.

But then out of nowhere came THIS ^^^ hideous thing! It just landed on our doorstep after we thought we were getting something else.

I woke up the morning it arrived, opened the box it came in and was horrified! I recognized this ghastly ornament immediately! We’d suffered eight years of his attacks of our beautiful brown and blue leader ornament, especially on Twitter. But, the idea that he’d end up taking over the tree and frankly the forest seemed impossible. We knew he was running for leader of the tree world and were sure if he won he’d turn the clock back a lot further than 60 years and we fought hard not to allow that to happen.

We all believed we’d keep that from happening just like we had in the past but as the old, monochrome ornaments from the 40s and 50s started coming out of hiding from the center of the tree demanding to get the tree nation’s historical clock turned back to where they were still living in 2016 so we found the battle hard. They actually voted in droves for this vile, tasteless, plastic trash, we find ourselves forced to confront the horrid realty that this crap has taken over the tree!

As he sits there perched at the top (though he can’t decide whether it’s staying there or going to live on one of the larger inner branches where he has more space he controls completely), he’s bringing to power in our tree nation all these hideous white hood, swastika, and confederate flag ornaments that are attacking and bullying ornaments of color, the ornaments representing different religions, pearlescent white ally ornaments, the rainbow ornaments and any other ornaments that don’t look like these haters of diversity. They’re lighting cross ornaments on fire and the orange leader and his chief ornament hate the baby Jesus and Mary ornaments!

They’re putting cracks in many of my ornaments, shattering some completely. This ugly ornament that doesn’t know whether it wants to be red or orange, and its disgusting associates keep trying to grab my cats, especially the white angora. But they repeatedly attacking the Persian female! This loose cannon ornamebr also can’t stop embarrassing our tree nation, leader of the tree world, throughout the global forest.

These hateful ornaments are turning back the clock to an ugly time in Christmas tree nation history and the tree nation is already suffering. What’s worse, this is a final sale (well, we’ll know December 19, for sure) so it looks like we’re stuck with this repugnant ornament and its hideous associates for at least four years. But all ornaments have the same right to live in peace and prosperity as these hateful ornaments so you’d better believe we’re making their experience in our tree nation hellacious! And we’re getting off our tree nation at the end of four years, too.

We hope they’re completely discontinued because all they bring is ugliness to otherwise beautiful tree nations.

Yikes. We get it, bro. You don’t support the MAGA message. No need to take it out on those who do.

Trump campaign merchandise vendor David Dickson from Florida holds Trump campaign "Make America Great Again" hats dusted with falling snow outside a Trump campaign town hall event in Londonderry, New Hampshire February 8, 2016. REUTERS/Jim Bourg - GF10000301111

Trump campaign merchandise vendor David Dickson from Florida holds Trump campaign “Make America Great Again” hats dusted with falling snow outside a Trump campaign town hall event in Londonderry, New Hampshire February 8, 2016. REUTERS/Jim Bourg – GF10000301111

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