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US News Horrifically Bungles The List Of Best States In America

Wisconsin (Credit: Shutterstock)

David Hookstead Sports And Entertainment Editor
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USA Today recently released its rankings of the best states in America, and the list is outrageously incorrect.

The Midwest has a heavy presence at the top, and holds three of the top four spots. That seems pretty spot on, but it gets dicey after that.

The top 15 are as follows:

  1. Iowa
  2. Minnesota
  3. Utah
  4. North Dakota
  5. New Hampshire
  6. Washington
  7. Nebraska
  8. Massachusetts
  9. Vermont
  10. Colorado
  11. Wisconsin
  12. Idaho
  13. Maryland
  14. South Dakota
  15. Florida

This list is honestly so insulting. They have Minnesota at 2, but Wisconsin at 11? Are you kidding me? Minnesota is essentially what Canada is to America. Sure, it’s a nice place and it has good people. You might not hate your life if you had to live there. However, much like with Canada, anybody from Minnesota with any talent is already in Wisconsin. We take their best athletes and their smartest students. You know what everybody who goes to Minnesota and Wisconsin have in common? They all applied to be Badgers.

It’s so wrong that I have to sit back and laugh. Do you know what people back in Wisconsin do when those in Minnesota compare themselves to us and say there’s a rivalry? We laugh our asses off because it’s so absurd.

I spent my childhood in the Wisconsin countryside playing basketball, shooting guns and doing whatever I wanted. I spent my older years crushing beers at football games and watching the Badgers go to multiple Final Fours. Can anybody say with a straight face it gets better than that? Of course not.

It doesn’t end there. They put Utah at third. Any state that only sells 3.2 percent alcohol beer is most certainly not better than Wisconsin.

And what about the bottom of the list? Well, it’s still pretty ridiculous. Mississippi is ranked second to last. That is so preposterous. I’ve been to Mississippi and it’s awesome. I’ve been to the vast majority of states on this list and there are many places worse than Mississippi. US News should go back to the drawing board and try not to royally screw up this list.

For those of you who are asking, here is my list:

  1. Central Wisconsin
  2. Northern Wisconsin
  3. Southern Wisconsin
  4. Montana
  5. The rest of the country
  6. A burning inferno
  7. Washington D.C.

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