Sports Illustrated Hypes Wisconsin Football – Sorry, The Party Is Already Full

(Photo by Andy Lyons/Getty Images)

David Hookstead Smoke Room Editor-in-Chief
Font Size:

Sports Illustrated is apparently trying to buy a ticket on the Wisconsin football bandwagon, and I’m here to tell them that there’s no room at the inn. We’re booked solid.

They just recently published a glowing review of how dominant Wisconsin recruiting has come, and that we’re on the path to a national championship.

SI wrote in part:

As of the final day of February, Wisconsin’s 2019 class features three four-star recruits and five three-star players, trailing only Miami (two four-stars and nine three-stars) and Georgia (three five-stars and four four-stars) in 247Sports’s rankings. Behind the Badgers, Texas A&M, Ole Miss, Michigan, Oklahoma, LSU, Alabama and South Carolina round out the top 10. And although this order will certainly be shaken up in coming months, it’s important to note that one thread unites most of these teams: momentum. Miami was undefeated on Thanksgiving. Georgia came within inches of a national title. Texas A&M made the coaching carousel’s splashiest hire in Jimbo Fisher. Ole Miss overperformed in the face of NCAA sanctions, then opted for continuity in retaining Matt Luke. Oklahoma made the College Football Playoff. South Carolina won nine games for the first time since Steve Spurrier strung together three 11-win seasons from 2011 to ’13.

Here’s the first thing I have to Sports Illustrated and everybody else that wants to show up to the party late: get the f**k out!

You think you just get to come in here and enjoy the fruits of our labor without having to put in any of the work? Yeah, hard pass on that kind of a mentality. My people and I have been grinding out with this football team for the better part of a quarter century. Sure, that coincides with my birth, and I’m not saying they’re connected. I’m simply stating facts.

You don’t get to watch us struggle, build from the ground up, go through brutal growing pains, deal with Bret Bielema embarrassing departure, Gary Andersen’s brief stint and now Paul Chryst has us cruising. You think you get to just show up with praise and expect to get welcomed in? Hell no, my dear friends at SI and everywhere else. If you didn’t bleed with us during the rough ages then you’re not welcome now. If you didn’t rock with us from the beginning, why would we ever let you rock with us now?

I get it. Wisconsin is all of a sudden the sexy and fun pick. We’re like that young woman you grew up next to and never thought a second about. You run into her over college break when she’s 22 and realize she’s actually pretty good looking. Guess what? You blew your shot by ignoring her for a couple decades.

I’m afraid that the party bus for Wisconsin is completely booked, and we’re not selling anymore tickets ever again.

Shoutout to everybody who was with us since the beginning. Everybody else can go back to ignoring us like they have for years. We didn’t need your praise back then and we don’t need it now.

Follow David on Twitter