The Mirror

Ex-Rep. Beto O’Rourke Needs A Shrink

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Ex-Rep. Beto O’Rourke is in and out of a funk. And until further notice, we are all his shrinks.

Last week, the Texas Democrat inexplicably subjected the world to his dental appointment and his terrible facial hair. (Yeah, he’s just like us.) Even MSNBC’s Kasie Hunt wasn’t having it. “This is what everyone was afraid would happen when they invented social media,” she advised him. “PLEASE DON’T.”

This week, O’Rourke published a tome on Medium to give us more. More of him. And as much as many people adore him, it appears we’re getting a large dose of him. Too much of anyone can make a person feel smothered (here’s looking at you Alexandria Ugh Ocasio-Cortez). (RELATED: Here’s The Story Ocasio-Cortez Refused To Read)

Beto may hitting his wall.

In 9 minutes — this is how long Medium says his piece takes to read — I’m already worried about him.

First off, what is he doing on Pancake Boulevard — is this real or make-believe?

Then, in the first graph, he finds the sky “gloomy.” (BETO: ARE YOU OK?)

Three months ago, he was a three-term Texas congressman running for the U.S. Senate. He lost the race to incumbent GOP Texas Sen. Ted Cruz. He’s so emphatically likable that Reuters published a piece saying he wins even if he loses. Two weeks ago, he was a possible contender for the White House in 2020.

Now he’s in a funk and writing about it?

Beto, where are your advisors??!!! Where is your life coach?

He’s running. And I mean jogging. Corn fields on his right. Empty fields on his life.

I’m still worried about him.

“The next morning I ran,” he writes. “…My leg has really been bothering me since campaign and so I had stopped running for a while. ..Running in new shoes.”

And then in a few sentences, he sounds the emotional alarm bells.

“Have been stuck lately,” he writes. “In and out of a funk.”

Excuse me, Beto, but what the eff are you doing?

He’s going to elaborate. (Covering my eyes.)

“My last day of work was January 2nd,” he explains. “It’s been more than twenty years since I was last not working. Maybe if I get moving, on the road, meet people, learn about what’s going on where they live, have some adventure, go where I don’t know and I’m not known, it’ll clear my head, reset, I’ll think new thoughts, break out of the loops I’ve been stuck in.”

I already feel like I’ve spent more than 9 minutes on this piece. But I can’t stop now.

He meets some guy who is carrying his belongings in a wheelbarrow. (That’s normal, right?)

Here is where Beto gets boring.

“Learned about pump storage, battery technology, the role that production tax credits have had in making New Mexico a leader in wind energy production,” he continues.

Soon he’s at a lake with some ducks.

“Leaned over, scooped up water and washed my face,” he writes. “Picked up beer cans that someone had left and were blown into the bushes.”

It appears he is on a listening tour. Here he is in Goodwell, Oklahoma.

“Listened to a young woman who is studying to be a teacher, wants to teach kindergarten,” he writes. “Asked me how we improve the chances for children of color who are suspended and expelled at up to five times the rate of white children as early as kindergarten.”

A graph considered to be Beto’s “top highlight” is this:

“A young woman asked, how do I make a difference in any of this? I said run for office. Hold town hall meetings. Bring people together, over coffee, over beer, ask your elected reps to show up and be part of the conversation. If they don’t, organize to get their attention. But whatever we do, let’s do it together. Listen to each other, be respectful, decent, kind. Invite those who don’t agree with you and try to see it their way for a minute. Make this democracy work by being as engaged as you possibly can. Otherwise we’ll lose it.”

Soon he meets a woman in a rainbow-hued wig. Beto writes, “She explained her kids pick out the wig she’ll wear each day.” Beto says she’s fighting cancer and missing treatments because she can’t afford to pay her premium.

Next stop (he’s not making this up): Liberal, Kansas, where he got a free room.