America is reportedly running short on aluminum for beer cans.
According to CNN, the nation is running low on aluminum to make beer cans during the coronavirus pandemic. (RELATED: David Hookstead Is The True King In The North When It Comes To College Football)
There are apparently two big reasons why. The first and most major one is that beer that was meant for kegs at bars is now being sold in cans on store shelves. Bars across America have been severely restricted ever since the pandemic started. That means more and more cans need to be produced.
The second reason is that aluminum needs to be used to produce seltzer cans, according to the same report. Yes, people drinking White Claws are putting the beer market at risk.
I think we can all agree that aluminum meant to create beer cans must be protected at all costs. This is like protecting metal to make sure we could fight WWII.
This is now the greatest threat facing America. We must do whatever is necessary to make sure the flow of aluminum continues.
This is now the top priority in the USA.
First and foremost, President Donald Trump should ban the sale of all seltzers. We simply can’t allow seltzers to use aluminum.
Trump base is the beer drinking crowd. If they run dry, then we’re going to have a serious problem. People who drink seltzers suck and they’re soft.
I don’t mind ruining their weekends at all by ending the sale of seltzers in aluminum cans. It has to be done. Stop the production and sale immediately!
Secondly, find some countries with heavy aluminum stockpiles and invade immediately. Sure, we can offer to buy the stockpiles first. If the nations refuse, then I want boots on the ground immediately. It might not be pretty, but it’s necessary.
Get it done, Trump. We’re in a war against coronavirus, and beer plays a crucial role. All options must be on the table to save our beer. This is now the toughest test of my generation!