Michael J. Fox opened up about what he called his “darkest moment” since being diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease decades ago.
“I was heading for paralysis if I didn’t get it operated on,” the 59-year-old actor explained about undergoing surgery in 2018 to remove a noncancerous tumor on his spine, according to a piece for People magazine published Wednesday, (RELATED: Ozzy Osbourne Reveals Parkinson’s Diagnosis, Calls 2019 ‘Most Painful, Miserable Year Of My Life’)
— People (@people) November 4, 2020
The “Back to the Future” star shared that he had to learn to walk all over again following the surgery and months later was all alone without his family in his New York City apartment when he fell and broke his arm. (RELATED: Neil Diamond Shares Parkinson’s Diagnosis, Announces Retirement From Touring)
“That was definitely my darkest moment,” Fox detailed in his upcoming memoir, “No Time Like the Future.” “I just snapped. I was leaning against the wall in my kitchen, waiting for the ambulance to come, and I felt like, ‘This is as low as it gets for me.'”
“It was when I questioned everything,” he added. “Like, ‘I can’t put a shiny face on this. There’s no bright side to this, no upside. This is just all regret and pain.'”
Fox continued, “Parkinson’s, my back, my arm … it still didn’t add up to moving the needle on the misery index compared to what some people go through. I thought, ‘How can I tell these people, Chin up. Look at the bright side. Things are going to be great?'”
Eventually, the “Family Ties” star said that he started to gain back his “optimism” after going through his darkest time.
“Optimism is really rooted in gratitude,” the superstar actor explained. “Optimism is sustainable when you keep coming back to gratitude, and what follows from that is acceptance. Accepting that this thing has happened, and you accept it for what it is. It doesn’t mean that you can’t endeavor to change.”
Fox continued, as he explained that having “gotten through the darkest times” has made his “gratitude” much “deeper now.”