North Korean leader Kim Jong Un has implemented strict fashion rules to crack down on “exotic” capitalist lifestyles and “decadent” Western attire. Fortunately, there are a number of politicians and celebrities who already fit the communist state’s strict requirements.
Kim’s fashion requirements prohibit mullets, spiked and dyed hair. It also outlaws other “anti-socialist behavior,” such as wearing skinny jeans, getting piercings, and listening to pop music.
The rules around haircuts are nothing new for North Koreans, however. In 2005, a state television series instructed citizens to “trim our hair in accordance with the socialist lifestyle.” Those state-sanctioned haircuts required men to keep their hair between 0.39 inches and 2 inches in length, but men over 50 could grow their hair as long as 2.75 inches to hide balding, according to the Guardian.
In 2013, more hair instructions emerged. According to Time Magazine, women could choose between 28 hairstyles. Married women had to keep their hair short, but single women could let their hair grow slightly longer.
Fortunately, a number of politicians and celebrities would fit right into the communist regime.
Independent Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders’ hair is a little long. Fortunately, the self-proclaimed Democratic Socialist is 79 years old, meaning his hair fits right in with the rest of the over-50 crowd in North Korea. (RELATED: Democratic Socialist Bernie Sanders: ‘Not My Job To Tell Parents Or Kids To Get Vaccinated’)
Democratic New York Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez would fit right in North Korea with her recent trim, but she too is a little on the long side. Still, with some curls, it’s safe to say North Korean officials would let it slide.
Massachusetts Sen. Elizabeth Warren’s hair is the perfect length that North Korean women (particularly those who are married) are expected to wear. Kim Jong Un wouldn’t have to worry about the dreaded influence of capitalism with this former presidential candidate’s trim.
President Joe Biden could also make it in North Korea. At 78 years old, he could even venture to grow his hair a little longer, but he’d have to remember to trim it every 15 days as is required of men in North Korea.
Democratic Minnesota Sen. Amy Klobuchar could be a model for North Korean women. Her style is right in the middle of what’s required for their citizens – not too long, but not too short either.
Speaking of model hairstyles, MSNBC host Rachel Maddow’s signature short haircut would pass inspection by North Korean officials. Short hairstyles are praised in the communist regime, so Maddow would fit right in.
New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo has always kept his hair trimmed relatively short, which would certainly please the North Korean leader.
The “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” star would please Kim Jong Un in more ways than one. His hair falls within the regulations (although officials might make him cover up that bald spot), and he’s an avid fan of socialism.
DeVito, whose net worth is upwards of $80 million, appeared in a video supporting democratic socialism, which he described as “research and science, paid with our taxes,” according to Fox News.
Don Lemon’s hairstyle would be approved by North Korean authorities. The CNN host always keeps his hair trimmed short.
The California governor might be facing a recall, but he can take solace in the fact that his haircut falls into North Korean standards. At first glance, it looks a little long, but Newsom is 53 – just old enough to have the privilege to grow his hair all the way to 3 inches.