Editorial

Honestly, What The F*** Is Peter Dinklage Whining About?

(Photo by Frazer Harrison/Getty Images)

Kay Smythe Reporter
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Actor Peter Dinklage is channeling his inner Grumpy in his latest rant against “woke” Hollywood “hypocrisy.” While most of us are embodying our inner Happy that Disney is making a live-action Snow White movie, the man who became rich and famous for playing a dwarf is annoyed Disney hasn’t retconned dwarfs entirely.

Dinklage made the comments on Mark Maron’s podcast, saying, “Well, you know, it’s really progressive to cast a — literally no offense to anybody, but I was a little taken aback by [how] they were very proud to cast a Latino actress as Snow White … But you’re still telling the story of ‘Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.’ Take a step back and look at what you’re doing there.”

He continued: “It makes no sense to me, because you’re progressive in one way and then you’re still making that fucking backward story of seven dwarves living in a cave. What the fuck are you doing, man?”

Dinklage’s comments beg the question: what did he want? Should Disney have paired race-swapping with sex swapping? Snow White and The Seven Transgender Acapella Singers? Maybe more race-swapping? Black dudes pretending to be black ladies? Snow White And The Seven Madeas? Hire Tyler Perry, it’ll be a smash!

It’s almost like Dinklage doesn’t understand the term “hypocritical” when applied to progressive Hollywood.

What would be hypocritical and “anti-woke” is if Disney used their usual lineup of SNL box office stars and turned them into dwarves using CGI. Then we might have a Dinklage tantrum about how Hollywood took away seven of the most notable roles available for real, actual members of the dwarf community.

Also, FACT CHECK: the dwarves in Snow White don’t live in a cave. The seven of them live in an Instagram-worthy cabin on arable acreage with a freshwater source and magical singsongy wildlife as housekeepers.

Such a property would easily go for the low seven figures in parts of California, Montana, even Tennessee. It could be argued that the dwarves vote Republican given they’d benefit from low property tax. Either way, they’d make bank on the short-term rental market.

That’s privilege right there. These dwarves are basically the Duttons of the Yellowstone Ranch.

Oh, but apparently the story of Snow White pushes “dwarf stereotypes.”

It’s not like the fictional character of Lord Tyrion Lannister, nicknamed “The Imp” and “The Little Monster” bowed to any stereotypes, did he? (I’m being sarcastic). These stereotypes didn’t seem to be an issue when portraying Tyrion came with a $1.2 million pay check per episode. Who’s the hypocrite now? (RELATED: Dinklage On ‘Game Of Thrones’ Fans Still Upset About The Ending: ‘Move On.’)

What’s more is that Dinklage’s comments could potentially slam the door shut on the opportunity for struggling actors to play the most famous fictional dwarf characters in fantasy history. Not only has Dinklage written himself out of the most iconic role of all time, he’s ostracized himself from the dwarf community that he already admits he does not “affiliate” with.

Whatever, we still hope Dinklage will end up playing Robert Reich in the Rodham biopic we’re all waiting for.