Apple TV+ has a new show coming out in November called “Echo 3,” and my goodness, is it one of the worst shows the network has ever released — but men are going to absolutely love it.
When I received screeners of the new AppleTV+ thriller “Echo 3,” I was so stoked. The trailer depicts something like “Narcos” meets “Homeland,” with bits of “Jack Ryan” thrown in — three of the greatest shows ever made in the history of television. I had high expectations, and almost all of them went unmet.
While there are aspects of this show that deserve awards, when put together, it falls flat. Some moron(s) at Apple apparently thought it would be better to waste screen time watching two men walk to and get into a helicopter instead of writing a script or producing an episode that led to any type of emotional attachment to a single character.
The reason men will adore this show is because the action scenes are borderline unparalleled in modern television. In episode one, we get to watch the show’s leads, Luke Evans and Michiel Huisman, battle it out with Al Qaeda in snow-covered Afghanistan. You can barely breathe as the act plays out; the cinematography is epic, the depiction of frozen warfare is impeccable, and you’re actively rooting for the good guys to win.
Not to sound too harsh, but it feels like the show was written by one of those sad dudes who loves guys in the military but never had the strength to actually sign up. In this way, “Echo 3” is a guy’s show, so I’m not denying that men will absolutely love it.
However, someone should have burned every single line of dialogue and aspect of human interaction before the script made it to a table-read, let alone onto the screen.
Not only were the characters totally unbelievable and unlikeable, but they were so badly written it often walked the line between comedy and cringe — and its supposed to be a very serious show. I cannot believe the same guy who wrote “The Hurt Locker” and “Zero Dark Thirty” had anything to do with this, but apparently he did. (RELATED: The Conclusion Of ‘Better Call Saul’ Proves It’s The Best Television Series Of All Time)
The pathetic thing is that I really desperately wanted to like “Echo 3.” Luke Evans is a Welsh actor (I’m a Welsh writer), so I basically spent as many episodes as I could handle, thinking, “Come on mush, just get better init.” My loyalty to the Welsh is so strong that I was tempted to lie and say it was a good show and not talk about how stupid most of it is.
It’s not like Evans is a bad actor. The whole cast is made up of great actors. They’re just speaking piss-poor lines written by someone who doesn’t strike me as having an ounce of emotional intelligence. At no point did a character do or say anything that a real person would have done, which, I’m sorry, does make this a bad show given the quality we’re used to in television these days.
There is no reason why the production couldn’t take the time to invest in the story, not just big flashy scenes. Women, who want something more than just cool action and guns and flashes and helicopters and cheesy one-liners — this is a show to put on for your husband so you can get an hour of peace and quiet to do your own thing.
Personally, I cannot see how any woman is going to want to waste their time watching this when there are literally thousands of other shows to watch. Even watching a fish tank for an hour would be more fun than this.
It comes out Nov. 23. You can watch the trailer here: