One Hero Fired Up An Airplane Dart, Taking A Huge Stand For Every American


Scoops Delacroix Freelance Writer
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One aggrieved airline passenger decided to take stress relief into his own hands, showing the path forward for every American going into the holiday season.

Smoking has been banned on all flights since 1990, but that didn’t stop one American Airlines passenger from firing up a dart. The courageous move was swiftly punished, tweeter Sara Radosevich said, with a “girly pop flight attendant snatch[ing] it out of his hands.” (RELATED: David Hookstead Is The True King In The North When It Comes To College Football)

We all know why this guy lit up, even though smoking on an airplane is punishable by up to a $4,000 fine. Every single one of us has thought about ripping through a cancer stick 25,000 feet in the sky. When your ears are clogged up, the plane is showing a Vince Vaughn movie for the third time and a bratty child is kicking your chair after mom took his iPad away, there’s not much else to do.

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Frankly, the bigger crime is that Americans are unwilling to engage in mass civil disobedience of this sort. They can’t kick everyone off the plane. Some may say that buying several packs of cigarettes would pad federal coffers due to our unconscionable tax code, but this is why we have local loosie salesmen.

American society is slowly but surely destroying all traditionally masculine spaces. During the Golden Age of air travel, men wore three piece suits and stewardesses wore cocktail dresses. You were served a $100 bottle of wine to go along with your $60 steak. (RELATED: Tom Brady’s Divorce Proves Once And For All Why He’s The GOAT)

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Now, you’re lucky if the gay flight attendant remembers to put ice in the plastic cup alongside your $5 Ginger Ale. The military is integrating combat units, women are playing division one football and men are cooking dinner as stay-at-home dads. The fuselage used to be one of those spaces, but thanks to “flight attendants” and the TSA, it is a sanctuary no more.

Yet this gentleman had the courage to light up. He had the courage to inhale tobacco mixed with tar and other carcinogens. May we all join him next time.