Single women in their 20s and 30s are grappling with the realization that – for the first time in generations – marriage and children aren’t guaranteed. Their loneliness is making them lash out at motherhood.
In an effort to cope with their new reality, they post videos on social media chronicling their seemingly perfect existence. “Come experience a day in the life of a single 29F. Watch me go to the farmers market and buy whatever I want,” the women say. However, their content outs them as people who only listen to bad parents and other singles.
Do these women really believe that once you become a mother, you suddenly lose access to Taylor Swift concerts, farmer’s markets, and Michelin-star restaurants? Children don’t prevent you from accessing “things,” only money can do that. Motherhood affords you the ability to care about something far more fulfilling than front-row tickets. It seems like the singular narrative these women have to understand motherhood is the one portrayed by pop culture that all mothers hate their children and would rather be off at a winery somewhere without them. (RELATED ROOKE: You Don’t Need To Spend A Full Decade Getting Blackout Drunk And Sleeping With Strangers)
Not only is that insane, but it couldn’t be further from the truth. Yes, mothers work incredibly hard to help their families prosper. And there is often no more accurate statement in a family than “mother needs a break.” However, not a day goes by that a good mother ever wishes she could go back to a time before she had children. She can still hit Saturday brunch with the rest of her friends, go to mountain tops, ski, lay out on the beach, and even attend concerts.
A day in the life of my 2 yr old.
Experiences more nature and life than some adults ever will.
— Natalie Kovarik (@natalie_kovarik) September 6, 2023
Creating a fulfilling life while processing the information that you may never be married with children is admirable. Our modern societal structure leaves many lonely people in its wake who, in earlier generations, would likely be coupled. These people deserve to find meaning through their vocation of a single life. But the claim that a single life is somehow more rewarding than raising a family is unbelievable and just not supported by facts.
This culture of narcissism will tell you that mothers are regretful and bored with their traditional lives. Women who put off motherhood hold far more regret later in life than women who decide to become mothers and take care of the home. A 2002 study published in Sage Journals found that 50% of involuntary and 30% of voluntary childless mothers presented regret about not having children.
There wasn’t a single mother who responded to the survey claiming to regret having children. Instead, it found the most common remorse mothers had was being too harsh on their children, wanting to spend more time or have more fun with them while they were young. This is the reality. Raising the next world leaders, teachers, doctors, and pop culture icons takes love, care, and dedication. It is a beautiful, fulfilling task complete with bandaids, laughter, and “I love yous.”
What the single women of social media get wrong is that at no point do parents want to wake up on a Saturday hoping their kids aren’t there. Pretending on social media that you’d rather make soup for yourself than for your family is an obvious survival technique for single women who don’t want to be alone.
Of course, there are moments we wish our children were more self-sufficient. It would be nice to wake up to clean laundry or a fresh pot of coffee. But deep down, we realize we have just 18 summers, Christmases, birthdays, and first days of school inside our protective home. No amount of last-minute trips to Europe could ever equal the feeling of happiness those 18 years bring.
Mary Rooke is a reporter at the Daily Caller.
The views and opinions expressed in this commentary are those of the author and do not reflect the official position of the Daily Caller.