‘Most Handsome Man’ In Italy Is The Based King We All Deserve This Holiday Season


Kay Smythe News and Commentary Writer
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Everyone. Shut up! Big News!

The “most handsome man” in Italy, Edoardo Santini, is quitting modeling. And he will henceforth be known as “The Official Based King.” Why? Because Santini is leaving his career to become a priest, according to the Catholic News Agency.

Santini’s previous work includes professional dancing, swimming, and acting. But the now 21-year-old says God’s plans for him are very, very different. He says he didn’t “delve into [his faith] because of fear,” but that all changed in January 2022, when he started talking to God about the call he felt.

“Living in God doesn’t mean locking yourself inside the church but rather living one’s life more fully,” he told followers.


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The news must be stunning for many Gen Z Americans, who assume that good looks mean you can get away with being a fucking idiot. But being ugly and stupid is not something an Italian man would dare allow themselves to be. Even the most attractive — and the most ridiculously dressed celebrities (J-Ax, I’m looking at you) — are insanely intellectual. (RELATED: Ryan Gosling Yells At Critics, And He’s Totally Justified)

Never did I ever think one of the biggest Italian pop stars would sit down next to me wearing a pink durag and discuss the implications of a Brexit-style vote in Italy … but that was my experience a few years ago. And it’s always been my experience with Italian men.

So, ladies, if you want a sexy based man with the intellect of a European library, you gotta head to Italy. The only downside is that most Italian men, while intellectual, probably aren’t great hunters or savages. And I prefer my men to be a little more savage than sexy.