Count Binface Declares Candidacy In London’s Mayoral Race

(Photo by JUSTIN TALLIS/AFP via Getty Images)

Kay Smythe News and Commentary Writer
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A self-described “space warrior” called Count Binface is officially running to become London, England’s, next Mayor.

Count Binface announced that it is finally time to “take the trash out” (not a very British phrase, but okay) after coming in ninth in the 2021 mayoral election, the BBC reported. Binface considers himself a “space warrior,” which I presume actually means “alien,” and says he’s the “only fresh thing on the menu given all other politicians are rubbish,” a statement I personally find impossible to argue against.

Binface did not share all of his policy platforms with the press as he was concerned the other candidates would “nick his stuff,” according to the BBC. “Nicking” in Britain means “to steal.” But he assured everyone that all of the ideas in the Binface manifesto would bring some “much needed sanity” to the city.

While many Americans might find it absurd that someone so ridiculous could launch an even slightly-successful campaign, you’re seriously underestimating the childishness of the British public.

We once named a robot submarine “Boaty McBoatFace,” only for the fun police to step in and call it something normal. And every time we don’t like a visiting U.S. president or leader, we make “American Idiot” the national No. 1 song so our guest has to hear it throughout their visit. (RELATED: Researchers Discover 279-Year-Old UFO Mystery Over London, England)

Do I think Count Binface will win the London mayoral election? Actually, yeah, maybe. It depends on how the weather is that day and whether Londoners feel the need to engage in a protest vote against the system that has destroyed their quality of life to an extreme degree. I mean, if they’re going to stick with the current spat of British politicos, they can’t do much worse than a dude who thinks he’s an alien and walks around with a trash can (bin) on his head.