Daily Caller co-founder Tucker Carlson is making a huge career move, and it’s going to be absolutely electric.
Carlson told Old Row on Tuesday that he is launching his own nicotine pouch to compete with Zyn, a popular product owned by tobacco giant Phillip Morris International. A longtime connoisseur of the lower decky Zynachino, Carlson said he’s ditching the pouch for good due to the $18,200 that Philip Morris owners, employees, etc., have donated to Kamala Harris this election cycle. (Click HERE to sign up for Mr. Right’s weekly newsletter)
WATCH:
Is Tucker Carlson done with Z**?? 👀 pic.twitter.com/ks730gM0o9
— Old Row (@OldRowOfficial) September 17, 2024
The ALP pouch website is currently live. It appears the company will launch in November with two flavors in 6mg, Chilled Mint and Mountain Wintergreen, both of which sound delectable. The cans also appear to contain 20 pouches, as opposed to Zyn’s 15.
“The all-new nicotine pouch by Tucker Carlson. ALP satisfies and frees your mind. At ALP, we believe in a better time,” the website says.
This is easily the best news we’ve heard all week, maybe even all month, hell, all year. Tucker is launching his own nicotine pouch? Hearing that is almost as good as listening to the Red Hot Chili Peppers guitar solo in the last minute of “Wet Sand” for the first time. It makes me want to run through a cinderblock wall, shirtless.
It’s also shocking that Philip Morris individuals and PACs would make donations to Democrats and Harris, whose running mate, Tim Walz, wanted to tax nicotine pouches at a 95% clip during his tenure as Minnesota’s Governor. Once again, a major corporation is stupidly ignoring its core consumer base, in this case, one that leans white, male, and conservative. (RELATED: Tim Walz Went To War On Zyn While Pushing Free Needles, Legalizing Pot)
Tucker was previously a champion of Zyn, and was even spotted at the 2024 RNC ripping them before his speech. During an interview with comedian Theo Von in 2023, Carlson rocked the medical establishment by arguing that Zyn can cure ED and enhance male sexual performance. (RELATED: Tucker Carlson Reveals The One Substance That Can Save American Men In The Bedroom, And It Rhymes With Sin)
Tucker Carlson and Theo Vonn talking Zyn boners pic.twitter.com/mNHYbLRKeB
— Dylan Housman (@Dylan_Housman) October 31, 2023
The Daily Caller’s Scoops Delacroix attested to the powers of Zyn in a sizzling column after the interview was released:
I’ve tried it with Mrs. Delacroix, and I must say that I fully stand by Carlson’s scientific findings, despite my lack of scientific credentials. When you pop a citrus Carlzyn, you are relaxed and confident. “180 yards to the pin? I’m going with a firm 9.” You are forward, but charismatic … When you spit out your 6mg Spearmint before she buzzes you up at her place, you are harder than Brock Landers in “Angels In My Town.”
With Carlson’s new product on the market, things are about to change, however. The Phillip Morris empire may be crumbling before our eyes. A boycott might be on the horizon. Maybe ALP, not Zyn, will save American men between the sheets.
Stay tuned. And as for an ALP product review come November, sign up for my weekly newsletter. (Click HERE to sign up for Mr. Right’s weekly newsletter)
