Opinion

S.E. Cupp’s Diary: Foley’s new-found fabulousness

S.E. Cupp Contributor

Big news is, I finished and turned in my graduate thesis this week. It took me six years, which is twice as many as I spent in college. If I could drink New York City and live to tell about it, I would.

Apparently Mark Foley—yes, that Mark Foley—has opened a store on the Dixie Highway in West Palm Beach called Celebrity Consignment, where he’s selling all his old Washington stuff—antique chandeliers, paintings, high-end French armoires. I’m proud of Foley for embracing his identity as a gay man (mostly so he no longer has to use underage Congressional pages to work through his issues). But Foley’s new endeavor prompted my good friend, who is gay, to point out: “It’s like someone told him he is now required to fulfill every part of the stereotype: move to West Palm, open a furniture store and obsess over the Keno twins on Antiques Roadshow.”

I heart Politico. And it’s because of stories like this. Greta Van Susteren’s husband John Coale is apparently one of many D.C. fixtures who lost 60 lbs. with a fashionable weight-loss plan dubbed “The Hillary Diet.” In the story he delivers the following fantastic bon mot: “I have been on every diet known to man—I did Atkins to the point where there were herds of cattle afraid of me.” If scaring cows is no longer allowed, Mr. Coale, I’m happy to pick up the mantle for you.

Speaking of, I’m experimenting with Fresh Direct, the online grocery delivery service, because shopping is hard when your only free time comes between 1 and 2 a.m. I ordered what I thought were a couple of individually sized sirloin steaks, but the photo online was misleading. So I now have four steaks the size of boogie boards in my freezer. Live and learn.

I just discovered “The Ricky Gervais Show,” a hilarious, bizarre and raunchy animated comedy that is sure to become my new official all-time favorite thing Ricky’s ever done. Watching and hearing a cartoon version of Gervais burst into spontaneous giggles is surprisingly gratifying. I highly recommend you check it out on his website: www.rickygervais.com, which is, as he says, “the website of Ricky Gervais, obviously.”

Travel + Leisure has a new story out, called “The Worst Places for Animal Attacks.” Shockingly, SeaWorld didn’t make the list. (Does it make me a terrible person if I feel like people who taunt dangerous animals for a living—Timothy Treadwell, Steve Irwin—should be prepared for things to go awry once in a while?) There’s no reason to read the T+L story—I think I can summarize: Don’t go swimming with great white sharks in Australia, try to avoid upsetting a Bengal tiger if you happen to be walking around Bangladesh, and never try to separate a mother hippo from her young. Hard-hitting journalism to reflect the dangerous times in which we live.

Relatedly, I was talking to a friend about cute baby animals—seal pups, bear cubs, kittens. When I asked him which his favorite was, he said “baby people.” I see an effective pro-life ad here somewhere.

Gawker describes the Stark-Levin-Rangel maneuver as “Old Person Replaces Sick Person as Corrupt Person Steps Aside.” Brazilliant!

After seeing the Hannity special on “Generation Zero,” the new documentary from Citizens United on the economic crisis, I really can’t wait to see the full-length film. (Full disclosure: I happen to make a quick appearance. That’s right, I’m now a movie star. So stop bashing Hollywood, it hurts my feelings.)

I was thinking, can you buy anything in this country for $.01 anymore? I remember going to the penny candy store on Saturdays during summers in Sandwich, Mass., with a dollar, and coming home with 100 pieces of candy for the week. I’m curious—if you own a business and sell something—anything—for a penny I’d like to know about it. (Offering up your hair on eBay for $.01 doesn’t count.)

Further evidence that the Mayan calendar might have correctly predicted the end of the world is fast-approaching? A condom manufacturer in Switzerland has unveiled extra small condoms for 12-year-olds—because, as it turns out, unprotected sex was not one of little Kurt Von Trapp’s favorite things.

S.E. Cupp is co-author of “Why You’re Wrong About The Right,” (Simon & Schuster, June 2008). Her second book, “Losing Our Religion: The Liberal Media’s Attack on Christianity“ comes out in April 2010. She is a columnist for the New York Daily News and a regular guest on “Hannity,” “Larry King Live,” “Fox & Friends,” “Geraldo,” “Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld,” and others.