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Putting Sean Penn in anger management is like putting Sean Penn in breathing management

Jim Treacher Blogger
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NYDN:

Sean Penn pleaded no contest to vandalism on Wednesday, effectively ending a case in which the Oscar-winning actor was videotaped kicking a celebrity photographer…

He was sentenced to three years of informal probation and ordered to perform 300 hours of community service, said city attorney’s spokesman Frank Mateljan…

He was also ordered to undergo 36 hours of anger management counseling.

Sean Penn has been beating up photographers since the Reagan administration. Why is it suddenly a problem? Just because he’s pursued a life of fame for decades doesn’t mean you should be able to take his picture. I blame, and I’m sure Penn will agree with me, George W. Bush.

This guy needs some tough love. I think the situation calls for some Clockwork Orange therapy. Strap him down, pry his eyelids open, and flood him with Jeff Spicoli quotes and pictures of Madonna until his psyche is completely shattered and can be rebuilt to resemble that of a human. Even if that’s successful, when being allowed out in public, he should be given chemical restraints and fitted with some sort of shock collar. And at some point in the process, he should have water poured on him, preferably in combination with soap.

(Hat tip: JWF)

P.S. Courtesy of Adam Baldwin and John Nolte, this clip from Penn’s latest flick might explain what he’s so upset about this time:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=obCZYvB9iZE

If you suddenly realized that for some reason you had agreed to be in a movie about Joe Wilson and Valerie Plame, and that nobody’s going to see it but friends and family of Joe Wilson and Valerie Plame, you might beat up a photographer too.

Jim Treacher

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