DC Trawler

New evidence that Obama was in the video for “Whoomp (There It Is)”?

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I’m skeptical, myself. You guys are Whoompers! Sure, the guy at 1:01 in this clip kind of looks like Obama. But in the Great Tag Team/95 South War of 1993, isn’t it much more likely that Obama voted “present”?

I’m trying to keep an open mind about it, though, for one reason: Ever since the Deepwater Horizon exploded and 11 people died and oil started gushing everywhere, people have been pointing at the BP oil spill and yelling “Whoomp, there it is!” Did Obama ignore them because he thought they were mocking him?

Wait, I forgot. Obama is taking full responsiblity. It’s just hard to keep track of all the ways he’s been kickin’ ass and takin’ meetings. Let’s start off with Obama’s personal stenographer, Richard Wolffe:

Carol Browner, director of the White House Office of Energy and Climate Change Policy, told Obama at one of the earliest briefings in late April that the blowout would likely lead to an unprecedented environmental disaster, senior White House aides told The Daily Beast. Browner warned that capping a well at such depths had never been done before, and that they ought to expect an oil spill that would continue until a relief well was drilled in August, the aide said.

That early briefing on the scope of the spill—and enormous technical challenges involved in fixing it—might help explain the sense of fatalism that has infused Obama’s team from the start.

The Audacity of Hopelessness! This doesn’t quite line up with Obama’s claim that he’s been on top of this from the very beginning, and he’s handling it, and don’t you worry your pretty little head over it. But whatever.

So, if Obama knew about this from the start, that must mean his team is ready to do whatever it takes to fix it, or at least minimize the damage. Right? Hello? Gregory Sullivan at Pajamas Media reports:

Miles of Oil Containment Boom Sit in Warehouse, Waiting for BP or U.S. to Use

John Lapoint of Packgen in Auburn, Maine, says he’s got plenty of floating oil containment boom and can make lots more on short notice. There’s just one problem: no one will buy it from him.

He’s already had a representative from BP visit his factory and inspect his product. The governor of Maine, John Baldacci, visited the facility and made a video plea to no one in particular to close the deal. Maine Senators Olympia Snowe and Susan Collins wrote a letter on May 21 to the secretary of the Interior, the administrator of NOAA, and the commandant of the Coast Guard to alert them to the existence of Packgen, their supply of boom, and their demonstrated capacity to make more.

(Hat tip: Hot Air) This guy’s company makes packing materials, but he saw a need and jumped in to fill it. Good old-fashioned American ingenuity and initiative from the private sector, right? No wonder the Obama administration has ignored him.

In fact, so complete is Obama’s dedication to demonizing private industry, he won’t even talk to those evil corporate fatcats. From his ass-kickin’ inteview with Matt Lauer:

Lauer: Have you spoken directly with the CEO of BP?

Obama: I have not spoken to him directly and here’s the reason, because my experience is, when you talk to a guy like the BP CEO, he’s going to say all the right things to me. I’m not interested in words. I’m interested in actions…

Lauer: In all due respect that seems strange to me.

I’m sure it does, Lauer, you CAPITALIST PIG. Why don’t you go back to counting your filthy money? Obama is trying to get things done by not doing things. He’s not interested in words, as he’s more than happy to tell you for hours at a time.

And don’t you wingnuts dare complain about Obama rocking out with Paul McCartney while all this is going on. I’ll have you know, the two of them worked out a deal to plug up the leak with all of McCartney’s old hairpieces. Then that oil spill will be so yesterday. Just open the hole and let ’em in.

And for Karl’s sake, stop calling this Obama’s Katrina. Katrina was water. This is oil. Uh, duh?

P.S. Jon Stewart: Racist?

P.P.S. Jann Wenner: Racist??

Jim Treacher

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