Opinion

The Blind Side, Part Deux: Levi Johnston 4 Mayor!

John Schlimm Contributor

Ladies and Gents, Here is my official statement on the news that Levi Johnston is running for Mayor of Wasilla:

“Rarely in my career as a Pop Culture anthropologist, studying the unusual habits and rituals of wild celebrities in their natural habitats, have I seen a move so BEYOND GENIUS as Levi Johnston’s decision (per some brilliant reality $how producer, because he never could have thought of this on his own) to run for Mayor of Wasilla, the same seat that launched his on-again, off-again, on-again, so-never-again would-be mother-in-law’s meteoric career (BREATHE – ahhhhhh.).  The fact that the media (and all of us) can now officially use the line ‘Levi Johnston Following in Sarah Palin’s Footsteps’ has just elevated the genre of the headline to a whole new poetic art form, and has left me in serious need of medical attention for an itchy condition known as ‘Overexposure to Fame Whores.’”

SARAH: You just got majorly punked, trumped, touché-d, and had your own coattail pulled right out from under you.  TAG, you’re it.  SO, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT? (We’re waaaaaaaiting…)

LEVI: Some friendly advice: DON’T SCREW THIS ONE UP!

BTW, if you need a press secretary, I might be available.  I hear Wasilla is nice this time of year, and I can write a one heck of a good, monosyllabic (that means short, simple words) campaign speech – Just sayin’!

John Schlimm is a member of one of the oldest brewing families in the United States, meaning he sees life through sudsy, gold-colored glasses. A former celebrity publicist, educator, and artist, John is the award-winning author of several books, including his latest, Harrah’s Entertanment Presents…The Seven Stars Cookbook as well as The Ultimate Beer Lover’s Cookbook (named “Best Beer Book in the U.S.” and “Best Beer Book in the World” by the international Gourmand Awards).

Join John on Facebook.com/JohnSchlimm and Twitter.com/JohnSchlimm.  For more information, please visit www.JohnSchlimm.com.